Plan B or Z

[johntee2]

I just weighed myself. I've put on a few pounds since I stated on an antidepressant that gives me a monster appetite. I haven't done any exercise for a few days either with this cold weather. It's getting harder with this heart condition to do anything. Yep, I'm the other end of the spectrum, the old and infirm. I'm not a kid looking to off myself because I'm disillusioned with the world. My desire to CTB is a medical necessity. I am envious of people with problems that could have a solution. My dicky heart beats more slowly every week. At some point it won't be beating enough to keep me upright or it may just stop completely which would be better. I need to be gone before I am infirm. I'm in Ex_t International and I bought the PPH. I've done all the things we old sick people should do but I'm no nearer. My wife caught me buying balloon gas (before I realised it's useless) so she watches me like a hawk. I have no chance of buying N as it's so hard to get in Europe. Even SN is impossible to procure and I certainly couldn't get the support and potentiating drugs. Fentanyl is a million miles away too. People here almost always take to the big fast flowing river. Not for me, that kind of suffocation is not nice. I tried the sensation with a bag on my head. Bloody horrific. I'd exclude hanging for the same reasons. I'm left with N2 and indoor BB. It feels pretty hopeless.

 

[Meditation guide]

I just weighed myself. I've put on a few pounds since I stated on an antidepressant that gives me a monster appetite. I haven't done any exercise for a few days either with this cold weather. It's getting harder with this heart condition to do anything. Yep, I'm the other end of the spectrum, the old and infirm. I'm not a kid looking to off myself because I'm disillusioned with the world. My desire to CTB is a medical necessity. I am envious of people with problems that could have a solution. My dicky heart beats more slowly every week. At some point it won't be beating enough to keep me upright or it may just stop completely which would be better. I need to be gone before I am infirm. I'm in Ex_t International and I bought the PPH. I've done all the things we old sick people should do but I'm no nearer. My wife caught me buying balloon gas (before I realised it's useless) so she watches me like a hawk. I have no chance of buying N as it's so hard to get in Europe. Even SN is impossible to procure and I certainly couldn't get the support and potentiating drugs. Fentanyl is a million miles away too. People here almost always take to the big fast flowing river. Not for me, that kind of suffocation is not nice. I tried the sensation with a bag on my head. Bloody horrific. I'd exclude hanging for the same reasons. I'm left with N2 and indoor BB. It feels pretty hopeless.

I'm sorry you're in such a desperate situation. I'm in the same sort of situation, health wise. It's horrible. I'm looking to use CO if I can manage to find the right place.

 

[johntee2]

I'm sorry you're in such a desperate situation. I'm in the same sort of situation, health wise. It's horrible. I'm looking to use CO if I can manage to find the right place.

Have you got a cylinder of gas or are you going to use charcoal?

 

[Meditation guide]

Have you got a cylinder of gas or are you going to use charcoal?

I doubt anyone can get CO gas without the right kind of a business that uses it. No, charcoal. I want to be alone in a house since the gas can travel through walls and kill others.