Venting Pl kill me ....

[I screwed up]

I want to ctb right now ... I can't tolerate this life any longer ... Don't have SN and can't source it due to this lockdown ... Only method left is hanging but I am too chicken to try that ... I need to go ..pl help ... Someone pl kill me . my depression and social anxiety is just too much to live with ..I can't face the world like a normal person .. Am in tears .

 

[Belit667]

No-one will kill you. Go with hanging if you really need to. Or just calm the f**k down and get .SN

 

[FriendofDeath]

I'm sorry you're feeling this way and I can relate somewhat. I figured I could always try to put myself in the wrong place at the right time if I was desperate, but there'd be no guarantee of the outcome. Hope you can find something you can focus on to give your mind a break every once in awhile - something like doodling or watching movies (with no commercials, so you are focused only on that!).

 

[Wisdom3_1-9]

We've been there. Sometimes, it all just seems a little too much. Take some deep breaths and try to refocus yourself. Think about some things in life over which you have some level of control. Engage in a peaceful activity that meets that criterion. It could be something as simple as listening to music. You're in charge of the playlist.

CTB is a very major decision. While the vast majority of us here are unwaveringly pro-choice, most of us tend to believe that decision should be made in moments of clarity. When emotions are running so high, we likely want to ctb more than ever to make the pain stop, or perhaps to ensure we never feel moments like this again. If you can get yourself to a moment of greater peace and clarity, and you feel okay with the fact that you didn't ctb, then you probably weren't ready. If you come to the opposite realization, it might be wise to start planning, so you have the resources and information you need to be effective and safe.