Venting Just a way to vent

[Jamesun]

For the past couple of months, anxiety has been killing me. I can't do anything without it being there; it's suffocating me, and it hurts more every day.
I don't know what to do lately, everything hurts too much. God, because of this I'm almost about to lose my girlfriend. I can't do anything, I just spend all day locked up, doing nothing but lamenting. I wish all this pain would go away, that the anxiety would disappear once and for all; every day it makes me feel more and more horrible. I want help, but I'm so alone and poor. It seems like the people around me don't care in the slightest, as if I were just a burden.
I don't want to anymore. I don't know if it's the best option, but what if the only solution is to end my life? I don't see any other way to end it.
I'm just a weak, mediocre, stupid guy with no aspirations. I guess all that's left for me is to leave like the coward I am.
I am so, so scared and I just want someone to see me and take pity on me, someone to help me.
I wish everything would get better, that everything would go well, but I don't see a way anymore. I think that's my only option left, even though I'm afraid, very afraid of hurting the people around me like always.
I just wish this anxiety would go away once and for all; it's wearing me down more and more each day.
I'm sorry, I just wanted to vent.

 

[discernment]

I'm really sorry you're going through this. It sounds exhausting to have anxiety following you around every day and making even the simplest things feel impossible. You don't need to fix everything at once, sometimes the best we can do when the anxiety is totally overwhelming is to get through the next hour, and then the next day etc.

You're clearly hurting a lot but the fact that you're here to vent about it and share your experiences really matters. I hope things become lighter for you. You do deserve the chance to find out what life feels like when anxiety isn't controlling everything.