I had a conversation with a very autistic friend of mine. He really struggles with self-awareness and he is very sensitive over criticism. I gave him 3-4 compliments after my mild criticism. I said me and him we are (wanna-be) smartasses and precocious. Many autistic people are. I see that in my autism self-help group.
I think self-awareness can be pretty detrimental for one's self-esteem and self-worth when one is mentally ill. However, I think being not self-aware at all comes with issues too. My autistic friend is extremely positive and has a way way better life quality than me. But his prospects of getting into a relationship are even more dire than mine. I think in my instance my self-awareness comes with a lot of issues. I am neurotic as fuck. To a point where I cannot work.
I went through a lot of trauma and bullying and I think this made me a worse human being. My obsession with intelligence is pathetic, disgusting and I am way too obsessed with it it defines my whole character. And this makes an empathy shell of a human being. I am such a mental wreck. I might struggle with criticizing me a little bit too much. But I think self-awareness can come with that.
We have an issue in our self-help group. Our core group consists of two borderline women, me and a guy who had a family tragedy. Bro if they ever find out my SaSu account I am so fucking done. I could get into a lot of trouble for spilling the tea. But this is part of my way to process things. I think this a negative character trait of mine from time to time I am a gossip bitch. It certainly is a guilty pleasure to talk about it. All of them stay anonymous of course.
One of the borderline woman has lost her whole family, they all died and she is going through hell becuase of it. She says it is a nightmare to be completely alone with borderline. But she is starting to self-sabotage the remaining social bonds. She picks up fights with people in self-help groups. With the people who are loyal to her and honestly she demands way too much. I get the feeling she wants that we save her. I have the feeling she got a little bit manipulative towards me after I vented about my family and giving me a guilty conscience. I think honest feedback would be the best but this would certainly hurt her and get the group in even more trouble. I get the feeling she struggles a lot with inter-subjectivity, she has a lot of biases about the way she perceives her environment for example. This is why she rejects all medication no matter what, she rejects help from the government and so on. I tried to argue with her to give it a try. She is very strict on her believes. The things that work for me don't work for her. I am not sure how to approach all of this. We were 3 people in the last meeting. Afterwards I talked with the other borderline woman how to deal with it. She is actual a friend of her. We have to bring to her the message but you know what happens to the messenger. She has suicidal thoughts but I am not sure how concrete I offered to her that we talk in the group about it. From my talk with suicidal people in clinics I learned most people have not much method knowledge how to actually do it. They have very abstract notions of suicide. I could imagine the same what happened to me will happen to her. She will go through pretty much a living hell until she changes her mind on certain issues. For me A LOT of mental pain had to happen to that I was willing to take medication and to change my very strict mindsets. However, there is the possibility that she commits suicide before coming to that conclusion. I don't think her situation is completely hopeless.. But there are also many scenarios where she is unhappy for the rest of her life. I think though her life has potential to get better. I don't know how it will play out. I cannot predict that.
But in case I criticize her I would hope she tries to see where I am coming from. I still don't know where the self-help group is heading. It could become really explosive. The more desperate her situation becomes, the more self-destructive she becomes. And honestly I ran out of advices. I told her I cannot solve her problems I can only give her the feeling to be heard, that her case and mental pain is heard and acknowledged. I think she sort of saw the point that she should not expect from us to solve her core issues. I am really not sure what to do about her.
I think self-awareness can be pretty detrimental for one's self-esteem and self-worth when one is mentally ill. However, I think being not self-aware at all comes with issues too. My autistic friend is extremely positive and has a way way better life quality than me. But his prospects of getting into a relationship are even more dire than mine. I think in my instance my self-awareness comes with a lot of issues. I am neurotic as fuck. To a point where I cannot work.
I went through a lot of trauma and bullying and I think this made me a worse human being. My obsession with intelligence is pathetic, disgusting and I am way too obsessed with it it defines my whole character. And this makes an empathy shell of a human being. I am such a mental wreck. I might struggle with criticizing me a little bit too much. But I think self-awareness can come with that.
We have an issue in our self-help group. Our core group consists of two borderline women, me and a guy who had a family tragedy. Bro if they ever find out my SaSu account I am so fucking done. I could get into a lot of trouble for spilling the tea. But this is part of my way to process things. I think this a negative character trait of mine from time to time I am a gossip bitch. It certainly is a guilty pleasure to talk about it. All of them stay anonymous of course.
One of the borderline woman has lost her whole family, they all died and she is going through hell becuase of it. She says it is a nightmare to be completely alone with borderline. But she is starting to self-sabotage the remaining social bonds. She picks up fights with people in self-help groups. With the people who are loyal to her and honestly she demands way too much. I get the feeling she wants that we save her. I have the feeling she got a little bit manipulative towards me after I vented about my family and giving me a guilty conscience. I think honest feedback would be the best but this would certainly hurt her and get the group in even more trouble. I get the feeling she struggles a lot with inter-subjectivity, she has a lot of biases about the way she perceives her environment for example. This is why she rejects all medication no matter what, she rejects help from the government and so on. I tried to argue with her to give it a try. She is very strict on her believes. The things that work for me don't work for her. I am not sure how to approach all of this. We were 3 people in the last meeting. Afterwards I talked with the other borderline woman how to deal with it. She is actual a friend of her. We have to bring to her the message but you know what happens to the messenger. She has suicidal thoughts but I am not sure how concrete I offered to her that we talk in the group about it. From my talk with suicidal people in clinics I learned most people have not much method knowledge how to actually do it. They have very abstract notions of suicide. I could imagine the same what happened to me will happen to her. She will go through pretty much a living hell until she changes her mind on certain issues. For me A LOT of mental pain had to happen to that I was willing to take medication and to change my very strict mindsets. However, there is the possibility that she commits suicide before coming to that conclusion. I don't think her situation is completely hopeless.. But there are also many scenarios where she is unhappy for the rest of her life. I think though her life has potential to get better. I don't know how it will play out. I cannot predict that.
But in case I criticize her I would hope she tries to see where I am coming from. I still don't know where the self-help group is heading. It could become really explosive. The more desperate her situation becomes, the more self-destructive she becomes. And honestly I ran out of advices. I told her I cannot solve her problems I can only give her the feeling to be heard, that her case and mental pain is heard and acknowledged. I think she sort of saw the point that she should not expect from us to solve her core issues. I am really not sure what to do about her.
