Musiclover338
Member
- Sep 25, 2024
- 53
long story short. basically in 2022 i tried to overdose and benzos off the darkweb and titos vodka
quick google search after having a rough day said "this combination is lethal" so i said fuck it lets do it. So i proceeded to down 4 mg benzos (no telling what were actually in them as they were from the darkweb) and drown myself in vodka.
Didnt kill me, blacked out, didnt remember that night, started to remember it a few days later. basically i cried alot and kept drinking everytime i came back to. Drinking more while on the pills would make me blackout again and fall asleep again. Pretty sure i may have suffered mild hypoxia or some sort of damage to my brain. all these years later.
next day when i woke up i felt a sharp zap/ burning in the back of my head (i currently feel it right now) that still persist to this day. makes my head hurt/ feel like its burning or like a chronic headache.
Been all of the internet trying to figure out how to reverse this or stop this, benzobuddies (i didnt take them long, less than 2 weeks total before i stopped/ran out)... reddit forums, the whole nine.
theres something called BIND (benzo induced neurological disorder) I Didnt even do them that long but my symptoms kinda match, but i feel like im being a wuss because alot of people who have that have been on the drug for long periods.
microdosing shrooms helps sometimes, but atlas the burning/headache in the back of my head around where brain connects to spine still persist. Its getting better now that ive stopped smoking weed and cigs, but theres still nights where i hardly get any sleep due to my head hurting/throbbing.
Could just be my optical nerves got burned out too read somewhere that opioid (could of had fent pills) overdoses cause permanent damage to eye nerves.
since then life has kinda improved (sexual life improved which i always thought i would die a virgin, money situation improved vastly) but that brain damage kinda sucks ass and makes alot of things unbearable
important to test your pills.... but i actually didnt care what was in them... as i wanted to die.
mostly just ranting as i have no one that can relate to suicde attempts , but any other overdose survivors out there? Just want to get somewhere back to my old 100% but it seems impossible now I still try to move foward in a positive manner.
thanks for reading
quick google search after having a rough day said "this combination is lethal" so i said fuck it lets do it. So i proceeded to down 4 mg benzos (no telling what were actually in them as they were from the darkweb) and drown myself in vodka.
Didnt kill me, blacked out, didnt remember that night, started to remember it a few days later. basically i cried alot and kept drinking everytime i came back to. Drinking more while on the pills would make me blackout again and fall asleep again. Pretty sure i may have suffered mild hypoxia or some sort of damage to my brain. all these years later.
next day when i woke up i felt a sharp zap/ burning in the back of my head (i currently feel it right now) that still persist to this day. makes my head hurt/ feel like its burning or like a chronic headache.
Been all of the internet trying to figure out how to reverse this or stop this, benzobuddies (i didnt take them long, less than 2 weeks total before i stopped/ran out)... reddit forums, the whole nine.
theres something called BIND (benzo induced neurological disorder) I Didnt even do them that long but my symptoms kinda match, but i feel like im being a wuss because alot of people who have that have been on the drug for long periods.
microdosing shrooms helps sometimes, but atlas the burning/headache in the back of my head around where brain connects to spine still persist. Its getting better now that ive stopped smoking weed and cigs, but theres still nights where i hardly get any sleep due to my head hurting/throbbing.
Could just be my optical nerves got burned out too read somewhere that opioid (could of had fent pills) overdoses cause permanent damage to eye nerves.
since then life has kinda improved (sexual life improved which i always thought i would die a virgin, money situation improved vastly) but that brain damage kinda sucks ass and makes alot of things unbearable
important to test your pills.... but i actually didnt care what was in them... as i wanted to die.
mostly just ranting as i have no one that can relate to suicde attempts , but any other overdose survivors out there? Just want to get somewhere back to my old 100% but it seems impossible now I still try to move foward in a positive manner.
thanks for reading
