Venting only thing i enjoy

[jamie_]

the only thing i enjoy is eventually being too tired to think or feel emotion or vent and drifting off to sleep finally feeling a bit of relaxation and peace in my head. that's how i know i am suicidal

 

[CoalmineCanary]

Relief...

 

[jamie_]

Relief...

precisely, knowing you pain free for these brief few minutes before you fall asleep

 

[dogofman]

i have been abusing sleep meds to keep myself at that stage of exhaustion for years now. not for sleep necessarily, just the ungodly amount of fatigue that comes with taking large doses. sleep is scary because you can dream anything while you're out, even shit that you should never witness (had a dream i watched my mom get shot), so i keep myself at its border.
it is miserable and my head feels like there is a campfire in the middle of it, but at the very least i'm not thinking about him all the time anymore.

 

[Niirvana]

I live tired. It makes me happy to know that when I die I will sleep forever, it makes me happy

 

[jamie_]

i have been abusing sleep meds to keep myself at that stage of exhaustion for years now. not for sleep necessarily, just the ungodly amount of fatigue that comes with taking large doses. sleep is scary because you can dream anything while you're out, even shit that you should never witness (had a dream i watched my mom get shot), so i keep myself at its border.
it is miserable and my head feels like there is a campfire in the middle of it, but at the very least i'm not thinking about him all the time anymore.

true, i see her in my sleep. i'm more thinking about drifting into sleep via exhaustion than sleep itself. i also take sleeping pills the moment i wake up so i can feel drowsy and not at full capacity to think.

 

[dogofman]

true, i see her in my sleep. i'm more thinking about drifting into sleep via exhaustion than sleep itself. i also take sleeping pills the moment i wake up so i can feel drowsy and not at full capacity to think.

the mind is a cruel, uncaring thing. wishing you dreams unburdened by vestiges of a past life.

 

[FuneralCry]

Sleeping can be a way to temporarily escape the suffering, but to me it is horrible knowing that I will very likely wake the next day. I think that for me peace will only exist in death.