Oblivion Access
I don't know anything
- Jul 5, 2019
- 333
Mmm, opiates. The devil. Fool's gold. "Better than life", as someone I once knew said. The warm blanket of artificial contentment: no pain, feeling just right, knowing, for once, that everything will be just fine and there is nothing to worry about. Maybe I was just dramatic and too sensitive, maybe life isn't so bad after all. Damn, I'm itchy as fuck.
Not to glamorize them too much, of course. What goes up must surely come down. And what a come down it is. In the best case scenario of having a reliable supply that never runs out (smack dealers are not known for punctuality) and the money you'd need, the awe and euphoria from initial use begins to fade away. The little brown wrap of sunshine soon turns into a big pile of suspect powder one must take to not be violently sick.
Burnt bridges with loves ones, debt, a minor crack habit to go with your smack habit, hanging around dark, dodgy corners of town while waiting for your man. And he's always late. Never early. And you start shivering, all cold and sniffly. Let's pray he makes it swiftly.
Alright, so you realize slavery to a pill or powder so reviled is no way to live your life. You get clean. And now every day, you're haunted by one thought - god, what I wouldn't do for some fucking opiates right now. But any relief drugs grant is likely temporary. My problems aren't solved by being always on something because all my problems stem from inhabiting a flesh cell with needs I didn't ask for.
'Sustainable' opiate dependence is just kicking the can down the road, a temporary solution for a permanent problem, if you will. Why prolong it when the end result's the same? I don't endorse anything in this post, certainly not using them if you haven't already. Even if you think your life is unbearable now, it can always get a lot worse.
Not to glamorize them too much, of course. What goes up must surely come down. And what a come down it is. In the best case scenario of having a reliable supply that never runs out (smack dealers are not known for punctuality) and the money you'd need, the awe and euphoria from initial use begins to fade away. The little brown wrap of sunshine soon turns into a big pile of suspect powder one must take to not be violently sick.
Burnt bridges with loves ones, debt, a minor crack habit to go with your smack habit, hanging around dark, dodgy corners of town while waiting for your man. And he's always late. Never early. And you start shivering, all cold and sniffly. Let's pray he makes it swiftly.
Alright, so you realize slavery to a pill or powder so reviled is no way to live your life. You get clean. And now every day, you're haunted by one thought - god, what I wouldn't do for some fucking opiates right now. But any relief drugs grant is likely temporary. My problems aren't solved by being always on something because all my problems stem from inhabiting a flesh cell with needs I didn't ask for.
'Sustainable' opiate dependence is just kicking the can down the road, a temporary solution for a permanent problem, if you will. Why prolong it when the end result's the same? I don't endorse anything in this post, certainly not using them if you haven't already. Even if you think your life is unbearable now, it can always get a lot worse.
