Feeling terrifically lonely. Just thought I'd reach out as today has been awful. I would appreciate any prayers this week...I'm not religious, but hey, I'll take anything I can get. Lots of love to those who are in a similar position.
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catflowers
Experienced
- Jul 31, 2022
- 225
hi i am in a similar position it's just shitty for me right now i am alone i have my sn but i feel like i need a miracle to pull me out of my situation
Hi. I'm using SN also. I am also very alone, but I think everyone is when it comes to this. I'm scared tbh.
catflowers
Experienced
- Jul 31, 2022
- 225
listen dude i did the chem crunched the numbers i can pull this off fucking i keep putting my suicide off but my dad kicks me out tomorrow and if you want to know i cant find a place then i will take it and dieI'm not terribly religious myself but sending a virtual hug and well wishes your way. I bet it is really lonely when you feel as if you are down to your final countdown. It's not much but whatever you decide to do, we are here to empathise with you.
catflowers
Experienced
- Jul 31, 2022
- 225
can you tell me a little about the chemistry of snI'm not terribly religious myself but sending a virtual hug and well wishes your way. I bet it is really lonely when you feel as if you are down to your final countdown. It's not much but whatever you decide to do, we are here to empathise with you.
tiny_dancer
Student
- Aug 23, 2022
- 136
I feel you. I'm sorry this week has been so hard for you. Thinking of you, and hoping you will get the peace you deserve soon. Xo
Have you looked at the resource page for SN?
Thread 'SN Resource Page' https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/sn-resource-page.32633/
catflowers
Experienced
- Jul 31, 2022
- 225
catflowers
Experienced
- Jul 31, 2022
- 225
I know it's like I tried to work with it but sn is hard to work withNo, sorry. I'd hope I would already be dead if I had...
In what way? Ordering it to begin with? Making sure it's the right purity? Getting the suggested medication to take alongside it? To be honest, all of it frightens me. Still, if I were to do it, I reckon I'd follow Stan's guide as closely as possible for the best chance of it succeeding.
emgrl
Mage
- Aug 6, 2022
- 575
catflowers
Experienced
- Jul 31, 2022
- 225
FuneralCry
Just wanting some peace
- Sep 24, 2020
- 48,570
I'm sorry that you are suffering so much in your time left here. It really is such a cruel existence. I wish you relief.
Nirrend
The important is not how long you live ...
- Mar 12, 2022
- 400
Praying for you right now <3
I deeply understand your feeling, anxiety and loneliness are hell
Like you I'll ctb but in few weeks, I understand how hard it is ..
I will never incitate you but don't forget, you'll not be alone up there and I'll meet you later friend <3
May you find peace and love you deserve <3Thanks everyone, and thankyou so much for your prayers. I really did mean it when I said pray for me. I do and would appreciate it so much.Do you guys think I should still do it if I can't get benzos? I'm using the sn method. Still trying to get everything together...
jodes2
Hello people ❤️
- Aug 28, 2022
- 7,735
We're here for you, buddy. It is a scary and lonely road.
Getting SN in the UK is very hard. Getting the meds isn't easy either.
houseofleaves
how's life treating ya?
- Jan 14, 2022
- 632
Definitely. I'm UK based too. I think people have received it here but just the possibility of raising suspicion frightens me. Funnily enough, I actually have metoclopramide from when I had gallstones (fate maybe...). It's out of date though. Not sure if it really matters. I mean- it says you shouldn't take it once expired online but I don't know how much of that is the big pharmaceutical companies trying to make money. Honestly, I was getting closer to settling on it as a method I felt I could pull off but now I'm just not sure. Inert gas is starting to sound more appealing but again, getting all the right equipment frightens me.
jodes2
Hello people ❤️
- Aug 28, 2022
- 7,735
Raising suspicion isn't the issue for me I don't think. It's just finding a source that will sell to individuals rather than schools or businesses. Once it's in the post I don't see it being intercepted as I've ordered plenty of medication from an online pharmacy and it all got through.
I agree that out of date meto isn't much of an issue - they're very conservative with their dates, worst case the concentration will just be reduced for a bit.
I tried gas, always ended ripping the hood off, the feeling of suffocating was too strong. Then I had to find a way of getting rid of three large gas cannisters that nobody wanted. I still don't know why it failed for me, no-one has any good answers. I even tested the gas for co2 and it was negative so idk. Why does getting all the equipment frighten you?
I'm by no means all that knowledgeable on it but from what I've read- that feeling of suffocating comes from a build up of co2 in the bag- rather than actually running out of oxygen. If I went the inert gas method, I would definitely invest in diving equipment- which releases the co2 (as I understand it). Not to say the bag doesn't work- I'm just a coward and want it to be as painless/fearless as possible. Is the hood you mentioned the same thing as the bag? Sorry- as you can see, I'm not very knowledgeable!
I don't exactly know why buying all the stuff scares me. I guess ctb scares me and it becomes a whole lot more real when you start getting the equipment. I'm not actually convinced I'll ever have the guts to do it to be honest- although I definitely want to hang on for my Dad to pass first regardless. Kind of shit because I'm certain I'll always feel like this and I'm also pretty sure it will just get worse. Are you at ease with it all? I think people do become quite calm nearing the time.
jodes2
Hello people ❤️
- Aug 28, 2022
- 7,735
Hood, bag, same thing? I had the advised flow rate of 15 litres per minute so it shouldn't have been a problem.
I'm pretty relaxed about it, but then I'm not imminently about to do it
DreamSurfer
Beyond this reality the waves of peace await
- Apr 8, 2022
- 110
I am also not very religious like I once was, but I will definitely pray for you. I hope that this week treats you as best as possible, and that your heart is filled with peace.
Thankyou. I could do with as many prayers as possible.x
You aren't alone because we are all here with you, struggling the same. I know it's very scary going through what you are, trust me. I'm spiritual, and I'm sending good energy your way for whatever you choose. Some things I've been doing before I kill myself is intense self care and prayer. I look at it as a way to transition into the new world; you are just going to a better place if you decide to commit. You are in pain, and I believe people like us don't deserve pain just because we are differentThankyou guys. Btw if anyone is in a similar position to me and would like me to pray for them let me know. I'm not religious but I know what it is to be desperate.xSimilar threads
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