One of those nights…

[Curiousoutlook]

I'm just sitting here tonight having a glass of whiskey. Thinking about life and how much I want to end it soon. They always say drunken mind speaks sober thoughts and I kind of just want to vent a little tonight. I live with my mom and her bf. they pretty much work all day and I rarely even speak to them despite we live under the same roof. When I do decided to end everything, I will be going with SN. I'm planning on doing it at a hotel because I don't want them to see me dead first hand. What comes across to my mind is that, I bet if I did at home, they probably won't even know I'm gone until who knows how long after I ctb just because we haven't spoke to each other for a while even though we live together. I don't have the best relationship with my mom so that is the main reason. There are some things that are holding me back right now, but it won't really matters when I'm gone because I'm gone. It won't matter to me anymore. Over the years I see how fucked up this world is and how cruel some people are.
Yeah my mind is a little tipsy right now but hey ‍

 

[whywere]

I feel so sorry and sad for you, as I NEVER EVER had any relationship with my "parents", they kicked me out at 18 and I am 65 and still haunts me. Yes, there are mean, self-centered and greedy people out there, BUT there is also nice people too, like everyone here on Sanctioned Suicide! My hope for you is that you let your global family here help and you can spread your wings and have a better life. I have had 2 attempts and I have tried very hard to see the good in people and let everyone here help me and I in turn can help others here too. I send you a lot of hugs, love and support. I can not drink because of pain meds that I am on, I have 24/7 chronic pain, but if I could I would join you and raise my glass to you, fellow global family member! Walter

 

[ClownMe]

I relate to the not having a good relationship with your mother part. I'm in the same situation, live under the same roof as my mother, yet we have nothing in common and she's a total narcassist who doesn't care about me.

 

[WornOutLife]

Oh, I love drinking booze while thinking about life and death, and if I'm talking to some other people about it while listening the music, even better! (Just like I do every Saturday here lol)

Anyway, I wish you the best!

Hugs,

Matt

 

[Curiousoutlook]

I wrote some notes tonight for scheduled e-mail when I do decide to leave. Will probably revise it later on though. Wow so much emotions tonight

 

[FuneralCry]

This life really can be so cruel to us and the suffering we go through is why I take so much comfort in death, as I believe there is nothing after this life. Death makes all of life pointless. I wish you the best.