On Saturday, I will be a parasite in love

[ariewist]

I'm going to tell her thank you for inspiring me to try to live, while giving her a pendant.

I'm not going to confess anything because there is nothing else to discuss. I'm at peace, and that night I shall pass, hopefully pain free. Thanks for everyone here and their support. I hope you guys do end up finding that glimmer of light, from the depths of the bottomless abyss. I am at peace with drowning in it, and yeah that's all. Just one more final thing to take care of before I can be happy with no regrets.

She really is stunning, she's driven, beautiful, authentic to herself, and carries herself like she's comfortable in her own skin. I don't know whether it's a platonic or romantic, but she gave me some sort of spark in my life, where I wanted to try to live again. It's nothing special either, we never dated or done anything beyond being friendly. I know I won't get close to her as much as I want to, yet alone be in the same league to even pursue anything beyond.

I'm a walking red flag, I'm kind of rambling here but, I lost both of my relationships with my previous partner trying to commit suicide. I am a fuck up. I won't date again, I don't feel like there's a point now. I am at peace with it though, being single and staying away from people helps me navigate it a lot better.

Do I yearn? Yeah, limerence can be painful, but here...I don't necessarily hate it. I get obsessive and delusional in my head and I keep it internal. I love the feeling of actually feeling some type of way again. No, I don't love her I think. It is a strong feeling that I can't really put into words.

I hope she gets to achieve her hopes and dreams, and will meet wonderful people that will actually not anchor her down like myself.

ra'el

 

[dirkw83]

Godspeed friend...

 

[Crematoryy]

I'm going to tell her thank you for inspiring me to try to live, while giving her a pendant.

I'm not going to confess anything because there is nothing else to discuss. I'm at peace, and that night I shall pass, hopefully pain free. Thanks for everyone here and their support. I hope you guys do end up finding that glimmer of light, from the depths of the bottomless abyss. I am at peace with drowning in it, and yeah that's all. Just one more final thing to take care of before I can be happy with no regrets.

She really is stunning, she's driven, beautiful, authentic to herself, and carries herself like she's comfortable in her own skin. I don't know whether it's a platonic or romantic, but she gave me some sort of spark in my life, where I wanted to try to live again. It's nothing special either, we never dated or done anything beyond being friendly. I know I won't get close to her as much as I want to, yet alone be in the same league to even pursue anything beyond.

I'm a walking red flag, I'm kind of rambling here but, I lost both of my relationships with my previous partner trying to commit suicide. I am a fuck up. I won't date again, I don't feel like there's a point now. I am at peace with it though, being single and staying away from people helps me navigate it a lot better.

Do I yearn? Yeah, limerence can be painful, but here...I don't necessarily hate it. I get obsessive and delusional in my head and I keep it internal. I love the feeling of actually feeling some type of way again. No, I don't love her I think. It is a strong feeling that I can't really put into words.

I hope she gets to achieve her hopes and dreams, and will meet wonderful people that will actually not anchor her down like myself.

ra'el

On Saturday I'll be working 9 hours a day unloading 25-kilo bags of cement to earn the equivalent of $10 in your currency. Knowing that I was abandoned by my abusive ex-girlfriend who keeps me in silent treatment, not caring about my psychological suffering. And yes! I know what you're going through, and your pain is valid. I just deal with it differently. I need to change my reality or I will succumb to suicidal depression.

 

[ariewist]

I have set that date for a long time now, I carefully planned it out. I am at the point where there is nothing but suicidal depression, I just can't take it anymore. It's more so for closure, like I have done with the rest of my friends and family. I'd rather I go out when they like me and view me as cool, rather than see the ugliness inside. I'm completely fine with that. Again it's awesome you deal with it differently and have the drive to change your reality. Keep going, and i'm glad you are not in that relationship anymore.