Venting Oh how I wish I were on a morgue's table

[TimeToBiteTheDust]

Just venting. Had a bad day.

 

[Meretlein]

I just wish I could vaporize. The thought of being a dead rotting body horrifies me in the same way being trapped in a slowly aging body does.

 

[theguineapigking]

I know what you guys mean. Life is just so bull. It is scary to think about your body rotting away. It's hard to believe that would have once been you. I used to want to be buried, because I feared having my body be burned. Then I decided that it's not me anymore. If there's an afterlife, then **** my body. If not, well, there's no 'me' anymore to give a damn, ya know? I'd rather be cremated so that it's cheap. I don't want a stupid service for this pos body. My point is that I try to identify 'myself' as not being my body, especially after death.

@TimeToBiteTheDust, I'm sorry that you feel this way. I think most of us here do, to be honest. The act of ctbing is so much harder than I anticipated. Do you want to talk about what brought you down further today?

I wish you guys all the best.

 

[TimeToBiteTheDust]

Been depressed all day + argued with my family recently and had a huge need of impulsive ctb

Ah.And university crisis again

 

[BitterlyAlive]

Tbh me too. I want nothing more than to just be fucking dead.

 

[theguineapigking]

Been depressed all day + argued with my family recently and had a huge need of impulsive ctb

Ah.And university crisis again

Yep. Emotional stress(like fighting) can definitely increase your ctb urge. Do you think you'll feel any better in a few days? Can you make up with your family in the meantime?

 

[TimeToBiteTheDust]

Yeah. I don't enjoy anything I do. If there's no enjoyment there's no point in living.

Yep. Emotional stress(like fighting) can definitely increase your ctb urge. Do you think you'll feel any better in a few days? Can you make up with your family in the meantime?

I don't know. I don't talk too much. Just the necessary words but I've been like this these months. I don't want to be here anymore. I'm tired.

Many years ago I always woke up with a big smile because I knew I had a great day ahead. But I changed. It's like I'm another person. Some months ago my mom told me that even when I was a child I wasn't like this and guess what? That made me worse. More suicidal.
Thanks for reading. You're the only ones who understand because you know how it feels like being suicidal.

 

[theguineapigking]

Yeah. I don't enjoy anything I do. If there's no enjoyment there's no point in living.

I don't know. I don't talk too much. Just the necessary words but I've been like this these months. I don't want to be here anymore. I'm tired.

Many years ago I always woke up with a big smile because I knew I had a great day ahead. But I changed. It's like I'm another person. Some months ago my mom told me that even when I was a child I wasn't like this and guess what? That made me worse. More suicidal.
Thanks for reading. You're the only ones who understand because you know how it feels like being suicidal.

Hey. No problem man. That's how it often is. Life gets bad suddenly. It's so easy to be triggered too. I'm sorry that your life turned to shit. Is it mostly college that's done this? Or just having to work to live? Anything specific that's turned you around?

 

[TimeToBiteTheDust]

Hey. No problem man. That's how it often is. Life gets bad suddenly. It's so easy to be triggered too. I'm sorry that your life turned to shit. Is it mostly college that's done this? Or just having to work to live? Anything specific that's turned you around?

Thanks for caring. My situation is becoming more shitty and these things (arguments) makes me want to ctb at the time. It's like I'm feeling suicidal and just one thing that I don't like makes me want to do it. Imagine you're having your common suicidal day and a bad thing happen that makes you want to ctb instantly. It sucks. Thinking that I can end my life is the only thing that gives me relief.

The thought of being a dead rotting body horrifies me in the same way being trapped in a slowly aging body does.

The idea of aging horrifies me too. We age everyday slowly but we do but I can't see myself in 20 years. Just by thinking about that it terrifies me a lot. It's strange but part of me always knew that I would die young. Maybe I was suicidal all my life without knowing it.

 

[theguineapigking]

Thanks for caring. My situation is becoming more shitty and these things (arguments) makes me want to ctb at the time. It's like I'm feeling suicidal and just one thing that I don't like makes me want to do it. Imagine you're having your common suicidal day and a bad thing happen that makes you want to ctb instantly. It sucks. Thinking that I can end my life is the only thing that gives me relief.

The idea of aging horrifies me too. We age everyday slowly but we do but I can't see myself in 20 years. Just by thinking about that it terrifies me a lot. It's strange but part of me always knew that I would die young. Maybe I was suicidal all my life without knowing it.

Hey. I get it. I don't often argue with my family, but anything that pisses me off will definitely make me want to ctb more. Whether that be a video game or a stupid dumbass I come across. Especially if I think about my brother being better than me. Damn, just thinking that now makes me want to impulsively take sn.


Same here. The thought of me dying is the only thing that will hopefully bring relief.

I'm here if you ever want to talk a bit. I try to be pretty relaxed and understanding.

 

[Meditation guide]

Especially if I think about my brother being better than me. Damn, just thinking that now makes me want to impulsively take sn.

I would like to hear more about this. PM me if you want to tell me about it.

 

[Meditation guide]

a bad thing happen that makes you want to ctb instantly. It sucks.

That happens about once a week for me. I suddenly get really desperate.