Im sorry you had such a bad experience

you are not alone I totally understand that feeling I also had one of the worst vacations ever a few years ago with my family and I was actually so exited for it but my step dad is always determined to ruin my happiness. I'm dreading going on vacation to visit my family in December I don't think they like me because they think I'm weird because I'm shy. I also don't want to look ungrateful because I dont want to look unhappy. I want to ctb before then but I dont know how to do it without being caught.