nowhere to go

[tomame]

i'm in a relationship where i'm terribly incompatible with the guy .. he's so misanthropic, cynical, vain, judgemental, controlling, and tells terribly absurd annoying jokes— all the time. despite being twice my age!

i miss my partner who died a couple of years ago, who treated me like a prince, and was a gentleman .. terribly.

i can't break up with this guy because i live with him and have nowhere to go .. and i'm probably worst off alone at this point in my life– with borderline personality. i feel so trapped. yet i haven't been able to get my life together since my last partner died.

when does it ever get better?

why can't God take me too?

the only positive is my boyfriend has been taking me shooting and has guns everywhere.

i don't know if i'm going to make it through the winter.

he's waiting upstairs for me right now and i know he's going to want .... intimate time

and i'm nearly crying downstairs in the bathroom.

i applied for disability .. i hope it gets approved so i don't have to rely on a man for security.

it's so hard having no support system

i feel so terrible and ungrateful and lost