Venting Not showering for weeks

[fluorescentpearl]

I haven't showered in ages, I feel too depressed to, having to look at myself makes me suicidal, and the idea of standing nude in a shower makes me want to. Kill myself even more, I'm just rotting away at this point, I know it's gross and disgusting to talk about but I don't know where else to say it..

I can't go to the bathroom either, my inability to eat makes bowel movements nonexistent

I feel horrible, I guess now that SN is coming that's how I'll have to go, I don't know

I feel so gross, I hope no one will be too freaked out by me saying this all
.
I have to go shower but I don't want to, I'm so anxious and scared to enter the shower, I don't know what to do

 

[Mooncry]

Nobody ever wants to talk about the gross parts of severe depression. For me, I can usually get myself to shower every other day/every two days. Brushing my teeth is harder. I hate doing it. I get no pleasure from the act of brushing so sometimes I'll go 3 or more days without. Genuinely have no clue how some people manage to do it twice a day, or even after every meal. Hygiene can be so hard when you're mentally unwell, but I do try my best. When I know I'm gonna be going out and interacting with people, I shower and brush, but it sucks.

Also with me being autistic, being filthy and stinky is a huge sensory issue for me, so that combined with having zero willpower to be clean is a fun time indeed.

You're not alone! Many people are struggling with it to at least some degree.

 

[hughmun9]

I understand... for the past 3 months I've maybe showered once every 2 weeks, sometimes 3. When I was working I was showering every day. When you don't leave the house and don't interact with anyone the only consequence of not showering is having to stomach your own stench, but after a while your nose gets used to it...

 

[sacrilegeofsouls]

I haven't showered in ages, I feel too depressed to, having to look at myself makes me suicidal, and the idea of standing nude in a shower makes me want to. Kill myself even more, I'm just rotting away at this point, I know it's gross and disgusting to talk about but I don't know where else to say it..

I can't go to the bathroom either, my inability to eat makes bowel movements nonexistent

I feel horrible, I guess now that SN is coming that's how I'll have to go, I don't know

I feel so gross, I hope no one will be too freaked out by me saying this all
.
I have to go shower but I don't want to, I'm so anxious and scared to enter the shower, I don't know what to do

I remember when I used to be at my worst I couldn't even get up from bed or get myself to eat let alone shower it's like smallest thing feels like climbing mount everest I think what's best is to take the pressure off ease yourself into it no force no sort of commitment or expectation

 

[Ben 111]

Yeah im on the same sinking boat...its been like 3 good weeks since I last showered and I don't give Af, plenty of water is available but I just don't have the energy to stand for who knows how long cleaning this fucked up vessel..
Its literally gotten to the point where im rotting at the comfort of my own bed..
Its literally gotten to the point where im rotting at the comfort of my own bed..

 

[Amber1974!!]

I'm with you on this, I haven't showered in like a week and a half, my hair is gross, hit it with dry shampoo a couple times but it really needs to be actually washed 2 or 3 times at this point, I don't smell at all though, guess my deodorant kicks ass, Been putting it on every couple days

 

[fluorescentpearl]

I'm with you on this, I haven't showered in like a week and a half, my hair is gross, hit it with dry shampoo a couple times but it really needs to be actually washed 2 or 3 times at this point, I don't smell at all though, guess my deodorant kicks ass, Been putting it on every couple days

What deodorant is it I'm sold on it, this is good marketing

 

[Forveleth]

Have you tried something less daunting? Just splashing water on your face or wiping yourself down with a washcloth instead if a full shower can help a lot.

 

[krxbs]

You really aren't gross. This stuff is relatively common among people who are severely depressed. Especially when you're suicidal, it can get really hard to see the point in taking care of a body that isn't going to be around much longer. Obviously, it would be best to shower for the sake of your health & self-confidence, but it's okay if that's too overwhelming right now. Just know you're absolutely not uniquely disgusting in any way.

 

[meowpuppy]

,, same, bestie.. i can't shower because being alone in a closed room for 15 minutes, needing to do things.. my anxiety would go haywire. i just try not to look in the mirror too often, and douse whatever part of my body is actually causing me physical problems and not just hygienic ones.. same for brushing my teeth, but thankfully my teeth are just built different i guess because they don't yellow at all from my lack of brushing

 

[hughmun9]

something is rotten in my room and I can't figure out the source of the smell and it's driving me nuts. I get a whiff of rottenness every 30 seconds and I want to pull my hair out.

 

[Mooncry]

something is rotten in my room and I can't figure out the source of the smell and it's driving me nuts. I get a whiff of rottenness every 30 seconds and I want to pull my hair out.

Did something die in the walls?