Euthanza
Self Righteous Suicide
- Jun 9, 2022
- 1,446
A suicide note never sent...
When you wake tomorrow to a fresh new dawn, please don't hate me because I'm gone. I did everything I could to find a reason to stay but I honestly couldn't see any other way. I've lived a lot but never dreamed that I would have to live my life like this. Wondering what I did that was so bad to deserve this hand, I've been dealt. I tried to make my peace with my circumstance only to find I'm still sinking fast. You want me to stay but that's effed up. It's super selfish, now don't interrupt. This is no way to live!
Even a pet can die with dignity and I've lost the ability to withstand the pain. All of this pain... In all of my body including my brain. It's awful enough with physical horrors but you should live in my head with my mental disorders. I feel like a burden. Your words tell me I'm not, But your eyes are uncertain.
I can tell you are tired and I'm tired too. So tired that I'm taking a nap that you mustn't disturb. I'm free of all the pain and dystrophy, and I pray that you know well from our history, that I always loved you. I know that if your love could have healed me, that I'd be long free of my misery. You've done all you could but so have I.
And isn't it true that we are all going to die?
So when you wake, don't think of your own heartbreak. Know that I am unshackled and unrestrained from this physical body that had me chained. No longer in pain. No, not anymore. I've gone through the door. No more wearing a mask and clenching my teeth when I'm in excruciating agony. Wearing a disguise and swallowing my guttural cries.
I know that you never wanted this kind of existence for me either and right now I can't make you a believer, that this was for the better. And for a little while you won't be able to find any pleasure, or peace, or even joy. Do not self-destroy, over this. Over me. I tried to live my best life but my body had another plan. Feel all of the feelings that you will feel, but don't stay there. I'm forever yours when you think of me. I love you and always will.
Peace y'all, -Traci Lee
When you wake tomorrow to a fresh new dawn, please don't hate me because I'm gone. I did everything I could to find a reason to stay but I honestly couldn't see any other way. I've lived a lot but never dreamed that I would have to live my life like this. Wondering what I did that was so bad to deserve this hand, I've been dealt. I tried to make my peace with my circumstance only to find I'm still sinking fast. You want me to stay but that's effed up. It's super selfish, now don't interrupt. This is no way to live!
Even a pet can die with dignity and I've lost the ability to withstand the pain. All of this pain... In all of my body including my brain. It's awful enough with physical horrors but you should live in my head with my mental disorders. I feel like a burden. Your words tell me I'm not, But your eyes are uncertain.
I can tell you are tired and I'm tired too. So tired that I'm taking a nap that you mustn't disturb. I'm free of all the pain and dystrophy, and I pray that you know well from our history, that I always loved you. I know that if your love could have healed me, that I'd be long free of my misery. You've done all you could but so have I.
And isn't it true that we are all going to die?
So when you wake, don't think of your own heartbreak. Know that I am unshackled and unrestrained from this physical body that had me chained. No longer in pain. No, not anymore. I've gone through the door. No more wearing a mask and clenching my teeth when I'm in excruciating agony. Wearing a disguise and swallowing my guttural cries.
I know that you never wanted this kind of existence for me either and right now I can't make you a believer, that this was for the better. And for a little while you won't be able to find any pleasure, or peace, or even joy. Do not self-destroy, over this. Over me. I tried to live my best life but my body had another plan. Feel all of the feelings that you will feel, but don't stay there. I'm forever yours when you think of me. I love you and always will.
Peace y'all, -Traci Lee
