dummy
Member
- Mar 4, 2021
- 10
my life is ruined. i cant see any other way out. what a sad pathetic life. all i did was hurt others. be a burden. i couldve been something. ive had really good times. but im just a leech. cant do anything right. i think i convinced myself i was this caring thoughtful person. it never was true.
im not even scared of death. maybe thats a lie. i am a bit. im sure attempting will be a different story and my anxiety will be skyrocketing. i wish i could be one of those people who find the idea of nothingness comforting, but i rarely do. i want to feel happy. there isnt even relief if you cant experience it, in my opinion. its sad to me. maybe thats wrong. i can see how its better than continuing on this way.
i just want to do it and hear a voice like "that sucked. hoped you learned your lesson. wanna go try again and see how itd be if you hadn't messed up?" but i feel ill just go under. and all i ever amounted to will be the worst day in my mom's life.
im not even scared of death. maybe thats a lie. i am a bit. im sure attempting will be a different story and my anxiety will be skyrocketing. i wish i could be one of those people who find the idea of nothingness comforting, but i rarely do. i want to feel happy. there isnt even relief if you cant experience it, in my opinion. its sad to me. maybe thats wrong. i can see how its better than continuing on this way.
i just want to do it and hear a voice like "that sucked. hoped you learned your lesson. wanna go try again and see how itd be if you hadn't messed up?" but i feel ill just go under. and all i ever amounted to will be the worst day in my mom's life.
