not doing well

[abruptum]

hey guys sry that i really never come on bedsides to dump shit idk how to really interact since i left,
anyways it's just not going great, the more happy i get when days go by and things seem like they're laying themselves in place i still end up a rock bottom after a matter of no time and it only gives me more opportunities to fuck up and more opportunities that all end up leaving.
it's like people are loaning me happiness for the time being but then when it's time to pay it back the interest is too high.
and i'm not saying people use me or take advantage but it's horrible that the darkness i can seemingly poke my head out of to view a normal life just sucks me back each time and makes it harder to want to keep going next time
i just don't get it i've been really trying i just don't know how much more i can give i'm just so tired
-a<3

 

[Naufrago]

It really drains off your energy when you should instead "charge your batteries". I feel like a lighted candle that clears the way for others not to trip, while all paraffin is consumed until the flame is extinguished.

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm sorry you are suffering. Life is certainly tiring. I understand it is hard to carry on when you have reached your limit. I feel as though I am never doing well. I wish you the best.

 

[Meditation guide]

It was nice seeing you in chat today. I've been wondering how you're doing. Come there to chat, vent, or express your moods any time. People may or may not respond depending on who's there or what kind of mood they are in but it might help to just have that space to let out some feelings. I post random stuff in there, not even a conversation most of the time, just to relieve some daily stress.

Even though I know you're in pain, there is a lot of sensitivity and thoughtfulness in your posts.

 

[FTL.Wanderer]

it's like people are loaning me happiness for the time being but then when it's time to pay it back the interest is too high.

Provocative and apt simile. On another note, I admire your chosen screen-name. I certainly empathize with you. Wish I had an answer. Sending support.