
thefaunasystem
🍃✨The Fauna System ✨🍃🪦
- Aug 5, 2023
- 30
This is a vent i guess. I think i'm losing my mind. I had a whole plan, had everything i needed to do the job and to do it well and the police got in the way of everything.
I've got this crippling sense of dread. I can't live much longer like this and my peaceful option is gone. I don't want my last memories to be turning into a splat on the floor but at this point it feels like my only option. I have no foolproof jump locations anymore and I don't have the finances to try buying more SN in the hopes it shows up. I don't have the money to travel anywhere that I know would kill me. I've considered hanging but I have a crazy amount of trauma wround strangulation and I genuinely don't think I can do it.
Considering getting as drunk as possible, taking a load of lorazepam and drowing myself in the river but worry it will be neither effective or peaceful. Even considered stealing amytriptaline from my only friends house but I couldn't do that to her. Brains going really fast, and I can't slow it down. I don't want to do anything impulsive and risk it not working or becoming disabled but I can't tolerate any more of feeling this way.
I've got this crippling sense of dread. I can't live much longer like this and my peaceful option is gone. I don't want my last memories to be turning into a splat on the floor but at this point it feels like my only option. I have no foolproof jump locations anymore and I don't have the finances to try buying more SN in the hopes it shows up. I don't have the money to travel anywhere that I know would kill me. I've considered hanging but I have a crazy amount of trauma wround strangulation and I genuinely don't think I can do it.
Considering getting as drunk as possible, taking a load of lorazepam and drowing myself in the river but worry it will be neither effective or peaceful. Even considered stealing amytriptaline from my only friends house but I couldn't do that to her. Brains going really fast, and I can't slow it down. I don't want to do anything impulsive and risk it not working or becoming disabled but I can't tolerate any more of feeling this way.