Nobody has ever cared about me in life. Its not worth it to try anymore.

[DeathIsTheWayOut99]

I was abused from age 5 to 21 by my mother. She died of cancer 2 years ago

I was bullied all throughout my school years, and even in my 4 years of college where iw as sexually assaulted. Even when I reported it, my school didnt care

I have been abused by so many people throughout life despite opening up my voice, it makes me wonder.....is it worth it to try?

The reality is that I was alway be hurt, and with my BPD I will in turn conintue to hurt people. To "heal" would take years and by the time I get "there" I'll be old and would have hurt so many people

I'd like to think that if I died I would not only be at peace from my pain but protect others from being hurt by me

I cant even go back to dorms cause of the virus, and even if I would always lash out at my roommates and they don't deserve my shit

I am a bad person who needs to escape ASAP

I have also began distancing myself from people. I hate myself so much

 

[PDAnnie2610]

I was abused from age 5 to 21 by my mother. She died of cancer 2 years ago

I was bullied all throughout my school years, and even in my 4 years of college where iw as sexually assaulted. Even when I reported it, my school didnt care

I have been abused by so many people throughout life despite opening up my voice, it makes me wonder.....is it worth it to try?

The reality is that I was alway be hurt, and with my BPD I will in turn conintue to hurt people. To "heal" would take years and by the time I get "there" I'll be old and would have hurt so many people

I'd like to think that if I died I would not only be at peace from my pain but protect others from being hurt by me

I cant even go back to dorms cause of the virus, and even if I would always lash out at my roommates and they don't deserve my shit

I am a bad person who needs to escape ASAP

I have also began distancing myself from people. I hate myself so much

I'm sorry it was rough. I know how bpd feels like. I feel like an unwanted pest too, sometimes.

Hugs..

 

[DeathIsTheWayOut99]

I'm sorry it was rough. I know how bpd feels like. I feel like an unwanted pest too, sometimes.

Hugs..

Yeah, I feel like I lost my whole life to abuse, trauma, and BPD. Life I will never get back

I feel like life should have a reset button. So we can start over from scratch. Those who were dealt bad cards can reshuffle over and over to get better ones

 

[2020wanderlust]

Here if you need to vent. I used to feel that way around people too, it feels a lot better once you do distance yourself from people somewhat and just put up a 'face' with pleasentaries. I had a shit time in school and college too but once I was out of there people treat you different.

I hope you keep going you will get there !

 

[DeathIsTheWayOut99]

Here if you need to vent. I used to feel that way around people too, it feels a lot better once you do distance yourself from people somewhat and just put up a 'face' with pleasentaries. I had a shit time in school and college too but once I was out of there people treat you different.

I hope you keep going you will get there !

Once you were out of where?
And yeah a "friend" reached out to me and checked in on me. I didnt talk to them for a week and a half and I just said I needed space.

 

[2020wanderlust]

Once you were out of where?
And yeah a "friend" reached out to me and checked in on me. I didnt talk to them for a week and a half and I just said I needed space.

Out of education. School/college/uni etc. I dropped out and worked my way up as lots of people do now in my country.

Sometimes talking to people and friends is exhausting.. I have been known not to reply to people for days but I always warn them about that beforehand haha

 

[DeathIsTheWayOut99]

Out of education. School/college/uni etc. I dropped out and worked my way up as lots of people do now in my country.

Sometimes talking to people and friends is exhausting.. I have been known not to reply to people for days but I always warn them about that beforehand haha

Yeah school sucked. Once I saw how I was treated I just accepted love doesn't exist in this fucking universe. I feel like writing a fuck you letter to my university on graduation day.

And about the friend part, I always treat them like therapists. I mean, with all the crap that going on in the world health wise, politically, and socially I don't want tone a stress factor for anyone so ill keep myself shut