Venting No way to make things better

[AlwaysSadAlwaysAlone]

I'm in an abusive marriage and have no way out. No place to go. No friends, no family, nothing. I work but don't make enough money to support myself on my own. And what's almost worse is that I'll lose my health insurance if I get a divorce. I won't be able to get my meds (for bipolar, bpd, and severe asthma... so super fucking necessary) and will be even more fucked than I am now. I feel so hopeless and alone. I want out of this hell so much.

 

[OpheliasFlowers]

My situation is almost exactly like yours, with only a few different circumstance (for ex. I dont work and haven't since 1996 due to multiple physical health problems. Even if I *could* manage a full-time job, no one is going to hire a mid-50s person who hasn't worked in decades). But like you, I have no friends or family, no savings or income of any kind, no health insurance...nothing. I want out of my marriage SO badly and have for years but there just is no way I can do it and survive on my own. It is indeed, like you said, such a hopeless feeling and so I feel for you and my heart goes out to you. Sometimes I sit and marvel at how my life became THIS. I never imagined I'd feel so trapped and have absolutely no choice or power over my own life when I imagined my future 30 years ago.

Do you see a therapist or anything who could maybe advise or advocate for you in finding resources that would allow you to leave your marriage? I don't know if that's a dumb idea in general or not, as I told my psych doc and other med professionals I see about my situation and they were no help whatsoever in my case, but maybe for you they could be?

I hope you find a way to get out. No one deserves to be trapped and stuck in an abusive relationship or situation of any kind and it's not right that there isn't more help for you, or people like me. I am sending you lots of good energy and my inbox is always open if you need someone to talk to or just listen who understands and relates.

 

[WornOutLife]

I know losing stuff such as your health insurance would suck but, being in that toxic and abusive marriage won't just make things worse? You will literally never recover unless you get divorced.

I think you should really try to get out of there. I've been seen many people here on SS wanting to ctb because of marriage. You're not alone.

I hope you can sort this out.

Hugs,

Matt

 

[JustAMatterOfTime]

Wtf, lose your health insurance? Are there no women's refuges who you get to keep the insurance until a divorce?