Venting No remorse

[yumeganai]

My mum is always annoyed when I talk to her and is always angry.she threatens me and doesn't allow me to pursue any hobbies or go out (I'm 21). She calls me lazy and makes mean comments about my face and my weight. When I'm sad or down she calls me ungrateful ugly tells me I ruin her life and threatens to abandon me and go back to her home country. When I was 16 she kicked me out of the car because I was crying. I have never had friends because she forbade me from meeting other people and still does. Even now when I search stuff on my phone she screams at me and asks who I'm texting even when I'm just using safari. She went through my phone once when I told her i was going to the library because she thought I' was meeting people. In fact I had to use the library resources for a project but had a panic attack and got a mediocre grade because I became scared of going to the library after that. That happened when I was 19.She goes through my mail and bank account. She complains about my spending even though I have five figures … she's mad when I spend on stuff I want but doesn't blink or thank me when I paid off her CC debt TWICE. I'm glad she doesn't like me because I feel no remorse in killing myself.

 

[itswhatits]

I'm sorry you're going through that. Is there any reason you can't take your money and ditch her? It doesn't sound like your mom contributes anything positive to your life.

 

[endofline2010]

@supremelimbo it sounds like you'd be better off if she left and you could just live your own life. You're an adult - don't take her money and don't live with her for free, and you won't have to listen to or owe her anything. Once you turned 18, her moral and legal obligations to you ended. Anything she does for you now is a favor, and she rightfully can hold that over your head. It's up to you whether taking handouts or freedom are more important.

Basically, you rely on someone, they own you. Harsh, but that's the way the world is, regardless if you're dealing with family or not.

 

[Life'sA6itch]

You need to get out. Plain and simple. My mom abused me emotionally and physically and it still harms me years later. Even after leaving your mom may still emotionally abuse you if you continue contact but that is another decision you will have to make. The problem is the high cost of living and the higher costs to be independent. Even the high 5 figures in savings can evaporate in a year depending on the costs of living and your luck with unexpected expenses.

If you get roommates you could sink or swim, you may not get along with them and vice versa and I fear some crappy humans may try to manipulate you as well. You may have to begin building yourself up to politely challenge some of the offensive things your mom does so that you can be better prepared for difficult situations and people in this world before going out on your own. I wish you good luck and happiness.