Venting no point in doing anything

[interna]

i just don't get why i should do anything about my life
i don't want to get better, i need to stop lying to myself
there's no point in trying to help me, all efforts will be ultimately wasted be it by my selfishness or my uselessness
I'm nothing & everything was and is a lie
I'm a liar just like you
there's really no point.
therapy won't work for me, can't even treat me as i'll just get institutionalized.
if i willingly hospitalize myself, it'll too be for nothing. here it's all bad experiences. there's no care whatsoever for mental health.
there's no other exit but suicide.
I hate myself. im in purgatory and its all my fault.

 

[Wilt-On-High]

Now, I won't say there's light on the other side (or maybe there is im still going through hell myself) but
Try to set yourself small tasks?
I'm sorry I'm bad at giving advice.