LosinIt20
What’s the point in living if you can’t be alive
- Mar 8, 2020
- 50
I think I'm still alive because I'm expecting some miracle or life to just magically get better. I always wanted a mom, dad a family, even my own kid . Yea right! I'm just trying to figure out how can somebody live in a world alone literally. No one cares for me, I don't even have an emergency contact I still use my deceased boyfriend ls info. I really want somebody to kill me, not painfully though, like shoot me in the heart while I'm sleep or poison me and I fall asleep and never wake up. I don't know , I don't have any friends people take advantage of me and I let them and literally just don't care for me at all. I'm too sensitive all I do is cry and pray and cry and get angry. Why ? Because I have no one ? I never did so why do I still cry wishing someone would treat me like I exist. I don't even care if no one reads this. This is the only place I can express myself besides in my mind. 28 years of hoping waiting for a change, It's like there's a negative force around me that blocks any and every bit of happiness and positivity from happening in my life..literally I can't think of one good thing, But who cares, even when I die my body won't be discovered for months probably, people will cry fake tears but I'll be forgotten real soon. I don't care anymore. Love isn't real it's just a chemical imbalance when I die I won't feel any emotions anymore. I can't wait to build up the courage!
