Venting New here

[either/or]

I've had a long history with mental health issues, been depressed since I was about eleven. But once I turned fifteen, I finally got on meds that really helped, until I lost my fifteen year old brother to suicide this year. I was pretty freshly 18, I feel like my entire childhood died so suddenly that day. He didn't have any past issues with mental health, but he was very very impulsive. Shot himself about a week after he broke up with his girlfriend. I've had really dark moments in the past, I used to rely on self harm to cope ages 13-15, I thought I had made it past all that. But god I've never felt so alone. I miss my little brother so much, it's so unbearable at all times. I don't want to kill myself, I don't want to put my parents through that again and I don't want to hurt my boyfriend. But I just want to be with him. I don't know how I'm ever going to want anything else.

 

[whywere]

WELCOME to SaSu!

This site is a family of loving and caring souls, and I have had so much help, and I hope that you experience the same.

Again, WELCOME and so very nice having you as a new friend on here!

Walter

 

[foggyskies_]

I'm so sorry for your loss. Grief is tough because it never goes away. I hope you find a way to honor your brother somehow, I can't imagine the kind of pain it causes you. Best wishes, and I hope this site is a nice escape for you. ♡

 

[darksouls]

hello you are welcome

 

[a-fond-farewell]

I've had a long history with mental health issues, been depressed since I was about eleven. But once I turned fifteen, I finally got on meds that really helped, until I lost my fifteen year old brother to suicide this year. I was pretty freshly 18, I feel like my entire childhood died so suddenly that day. He didn't have any past issues with mental health, but he was very very impulsive. Shot himself about a week after he broke up with his girlfriend. I've had really dark moments in the past, I used to rely on self harm to cope ages 13-15, I thought I had made it past all that. But god I've never felt so alone. I miss my little brother so much, it's so unbearable at all times. I don't want to kill myself, I don't want to put my parents through that again and I don't want to hurt my boyfriend. But I just want to be with him. I don't know how I'm ever going to want anything else.

God, that was a difficult read. Sorry you're going through that.

I'm surprised to see another ES fan here. Welcome!