Nearly there!

[AlexKy]

This morning I managed to put more pressure on my noose, kneeled almost halfway, I raised myself, and as I was standing I got a rush of blood into my brain which got me really dizzy, lost my balance a little and I nearly fell into the rope again. I got such a rush, and an unbelievable feeling of wellbeing, because I managed to conquer my fear a little. I feel extremely content with myself, I feel like I'm wining, I wasn't petrified with fear.
Fuck yeah, it felt good.
Maybe next time I'll be out for good! Such a comforting feeling!

 

[FuneralCry]

I can imagine that it must be a relief to know that you can exit at a time of your choosing and to not be so fearful. I'm sorry for all the suffering that has brought you to this point, but I wish you the best in whatever happens.

 

[AlexKy]

I can imagine that it must be a relief to know that you can exit at a time of your choosing and to not be so fearful. I'm sorry for all the suffering that has brought you to this point, but I wish you the best in whatever happens.

The exit bit is still a distance away, but I've conquered some of my fear. before my muscles use to freeze and I just couldn't move as soon as the noose was around my neck. I'm getting there slowly, hopefully with all my practice one of this days I'm out forever. I'm only practicing with full setup now, so if a practice run is successful that's it, it's going to be the last one.