Ardesevent
It’s the end of the line, cowboy
- Feb 2, 2020
- 358
I'm setting my date for the end of the week. I'll probably attempt partial one last time to see if my luck finally lets me have something- and if that fails, I'm going to have to set myself on fire. Maybe I'll try to drown myself again first, but I already know that's never going to work. All other methods have been exhausted, unless I want to stand in the middle of the road and hope someone hits me.
I can't stand the thought of going into crowds, speaking to strangers, or leaving the house for the most part anymore. I've become so obsessive over my appearance and daily schedule that I don't enjoy any of my hobbies anymore. I'm probably only a couple days away from a breakdown- I'll have to leave the house soon to go get some books and curriculum items from my university. It'll be packed. It's been so long since I've been around someone who isn't my dad that'll I'll probably go into shock.
Recently I went outside for the first time in months. I was amazed for all of a few seconds- then it just became dull again. There's nothing out there for me anymore.
I can't stand the thought of going into crowds, speaking to strangers, or leaving the house for the most part anymore. I've become so obsessive over my appearance and daily schedule that I don't enjoy any of my hobbies anymore. I'm probably only a couple days away from a breakdown- I'll have to leave the house soon to go get some books and curriculum items from my university. It'll be packed. It's been so long since I've been around someone who isn't my dad that'll I'll probably go into shock.
Recently I went outside for the first time in months. I was amazed for all of a few seconds- then it just became dull again. There's nothing out there for me anymore.
