My plan

[naenae28]

So I just needed to talk to someone about my plan to ctb in a few weeks.

First, I'm thinking about writing letters to all the people that I love but also cause me emotional pain. I also am thinking of writing a general letter just from myself and not directed/about anyone else.

Then, drive about 1.5 hours north and stay at a hotel, where I will ctb. I'm wanting to make a concoction and use that to hang myself over the door. This way I will be left alone just like I am right now because I don't talk to anyone about my thoughts or pain. I just know that I want to be free of all this emotional baggage I carry since the day I was born. I just want my pain to end and honestly don't see my life getting any better or I guess I should say I don't see that my life is worth living. I hate who I am and I am just so ready to end it.

 

[Trilucid]

Reading this... It's really sad how we either drive to a motel or some secluded place, so we may carry on in peace with the bus.
No surrounded by friends, love and family, no nothing. Nada.
Empty cold room, with the method at hand, brain overflowing with negativity probably at that very same moment.
Oh and the self hate too.

 

[peanuts]

You're so bloody strong for having held on this long x

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm sorry that you have suffered so unbearably in life. I know that it is hard to carry on when you are so desperate to leave. I can relate to not seeing life as being worth living, I just want to not exist as well. I wish you relief from pain in whatever happens. This life really is so sad.

 

[outrider567]

Reading this... It's really sad how we either drive to a motel or some secluded place, so we may carry on in peace with the bus.
No surrounded by friends, love and family, no nothing. Nada.
Empty cold room, with the method at hand, brain overflowing with negativity probably at that very same moment.
Oh and the self hate too.

So? What's your point? Surrounded by friends and family?? During a suicide?? Any family that cares would not allow you to kill yourself in the first place! Unless suffering from a horrible disease like ALS or Huntingtons Disease or Pulmonary Fibrosis etc----My priceless girlfriend died basically alone, (pandemic restrictions then)only I came/was able to see her those last 2 days--and her brother(they were quite close) came for like just only 30 minutes the pos , and she didn't want to die! Not at all! She fought like hell