My only 2 close friends are leaving forever

[SpaxeZ]

I never had many friends in my life. These two were my best friends in years and they are leaving for another country on tuesday forever. We met at a hotel while having breakfast. They were 10 years older than me but we became bros so easily. They are the only reason I could handle these past 2 months. I had my first drinks with them and smoked my first ever cigarette with them. I don't know how I can handle these future 3 months until I can go with my plan for ctb. It's 4 am and I just left their home. They had invited me for saying last goodbyes. On my way out one of them came with me and we had a final chat at the door. This one was closer to me than a blood brother. I wish I could talk to him and tell him about my problem but my problem is so embarrassing and not something to easily talk about with someone. I just joked about killing myself when he asked about my future plans and he gave me advices on how life has ups and downs and if you're not feeling pressure means you're not improving in life but he doesn't know how badly I've f*cked myself up and have to kms anyway. Anyhow they're leaving and these 3 months is gonna be much harder for me to handle.

 

[Komm_Süsser_Tod]

Can you try to keep in contact with them?

 

[SpaxeZ]

Can you try to keep in contact with them?

Yes I'll try that for sure

 

[FuneralCry]

It can be hard when things change and people leave, but that is a part of life. I know it can be very depressing to lose something that made you feel better. I'm sorry you are going through this. Whatever happens, I wish you the best.