My life...is a tragedy

[Water-Lily]

I don't know what to expect in writing this

But if I ever CTB, I do want people to know my story

On the outside, I am an A+ student

I have friends I chat with

Family I sometimes get along with

But that is only the tip of the iceberg

A tip that, quite frankly, might not even be real

So here's the rest

What is "beneath" the tip

So where do we begin?

Childhood I guess?

So...I was 5

Around there...I think

Is when the words "your a bitch, retard, and a dumbs" became the norm

My mother seemed to use me as her punching bag.

All I could do is cry, which always made things worse

For some reason it was "my fault"

Didn't help that my dad was the enabler and let me take it daily

And it doesn't help that I would shield my little brother from the abuse

Who, oddly, went on to abuse me

lol

what about school?

Can't say it was any better there

Both teachers and students loved to pick on me

Make me cry and push me around

And I thought "maybe high school would be different"

Nope

What about college? Has to be. People are generally more mature

No...at least it wasnt for me

Its where I experienced multiple cases of sexual abuse

Mixed with catty bullying

both of which I didnt think would happen

So its here I say....fuck it

The reality is is that nothing changes.

Nothing gets better

Life has labeled me its bitch and I know that until I CTB

I will continue to suffer

That is my reality

Now, time to CTB

 

[Ender]

Now, time to CTB

If you are, may peace hug you eternally.

 

[Kat!]

oh no

 

[decafcoffee]

I know someone who has the same experience , abusive mother and abusive little brother. Not sure if she protected him but did mention I think that she was the only victim for some reason. Some fucked up female rivalry bullshit. It must be a psychological thing. Like you either are a victim or a monster in that abusive environment. Maybe it makes them feel safe and powerful rather than a victim.

 

[nicetomeetu]

Life has labeled me its bitch and I know that until I CTB

I can absolutely relate to this. What helps me to survive is being apathetic.
Anyways, Im sorry you had to deal with these pieces of shit giving you a shitty time.
Hope you can find peace is your own way.

 

[Meretlein]

One of things I am grateful for is that at least my childhood was good. Everyone has problems but my childhood was filled with friends and a loving (though slightly dysfunctional) family.

The main reason I am here is trauma in my teens.

You are a very strong person to have survived so much from a young age. I hope you can find peace.

 

[shadowchaser]

You've been through so much; not everyone would be able to make it as far as you have with your circumstances.
Please remember that absolutely none of it was your fault. You deserve so much better