I am failing my U.S. university in my second year, going to have to retake a class for the third time, it is one of the easiest classes in the degree. I am too depressed to get out of my bed most days, for years, so I have not been going to lecture. The classes I might pass (if I do well on the finals) I am going to receive a C at best.
I have no friends. I think I'm a normal dude, maybe a bit on the autistic side, but otherwise I can hold a conversation fine. My last friend was in high-school and we don't talk anymore, life circumstances separated us.
I have no fulfillment. I don't think I'd even be happy if I had my "dream" life, I have never felt happy for some sustained period of time, I think it would take some fundamental mental changes (maybe blast some of those antidepressants or wtv) for me to feel any contentment.
Another minor thing, I've lost 2k the past week playing poker, dealt "coolers" if you know what that means. I play well usually, ran very bad this week, no longer a profitable player, seems like a final fuck you from the universe.
Anyways to the plan. I was going to do full suspension, break my neck, in Aokigahara (that Japanese suicide forest). Maybe some time late August before school starts up again.
I love Japan and have always wanted to visit! Think it would be a fun way to end my life.
Any Japan fans?
I have no friends. I think I'm a normal dude, maybe a bit on the autistic side, but otherwise I can hold a conversation fine. My last friend was in high-school and we don't talk anymore, life circumstances separated us.
I have no fulfillment. I don't think I'd even be happy if I had my "dream" life, I have never felt happy for some sustained period of time, I think it would take some fundamental mental changes (maybe blast some of those antidepressants or wtv) for me to feel any contentment.
Another minor thing, I've lost 2k the past week playing poker, dealt "coolers" if you know what that means. I play well usually, ran very bad this week, no longer a profitable player, seems like a final fuck you from the universe.
Anyways to the plan. I was going to do full suspension, break my neck, in Aokigahara (that Japanese suicide forest). Maybe some time late August before school starts up again.
I love Japan and have always wanted to visit! Think it would be a fun way to end my life.
Any Japan fans?
