My ex threaten me

[tipsytiger]

I plan to do my CTB someday in this month, I've been living with depression and anxiety, I keep hearing voices whenever I close my eyes. My ex know about my condition and I've been telling her that its getting worse and I might actually do it. I thought I can trust her but she threatens me to tell my family if I keep doing this. The truth is I'm not 100% sure about the CTB but the pain of living every single day just hurts me so much. Now my anxiety is even more higher because I'm afraid if my family knows about this my condition will just get worse. It's not fair for someone to do this to me, I feel like a fool for telling my ex about my problem. This is so fucked up

 

[Hollowillow]

It's your ex. You literally couldn't trust her with your heart. Dump her.

Voices can be a sign of low b vitamins. I miss mine. He had good advice.

Tell her you're just slowly getting over the break up and won't do anything stupid. Just lie.

Sad that everyone is a pro lifer. She didn't want you as a lover but force you to live unloved. Get rid of that bitch, or at least lie with the "I'm fine" line. Ratting you out to your parents instead to comfirt you is a lame move.

I sure hope that this bitch isn't your reason to die because you're better off without her. I hope you'll pamper yourself, then heal... It hurts to death to break up and feel unloved... I understand... I wish someone here could meet you... Or me.

Sorry to be a bitch myself I have emotional issues.

I wish I had a comfirting thing to say but I just had repeated trauma & my SI is like a rabid dog.

Please forgive me?

I hope you'll find peace. Taking out the trash is a good idea... But I don't think the trash is you.

The whole world is trash. I understand if you want out. She can't be trusted, now you know...

 

[SexyIncél]

Yeah, you're lucky she merely threatened you. It was a considerate warning, a signal to lie to her shamelessly

Because people with your secrets have power over you, and now it's clear how she'd wield it

Someone once threatened me with involuntary hospitalization, claiming that suicidal people are incapable of "rational decisionmaking." (She herself tried committing suicide once, clearly incompetently. She thought this made her a decisionmaking expert)

I replied that from now on, I'll carry a knife to commit suicide if that happened. She laughed, saying they were strong & would disarm me

So I countered by saying I'll dry-practice stabbing myself repeatedly & rapidly in the neck. Her bravado melted into horror. At my game-theoretic way to discourage her from ratting me out to the suicide cops: assured death/mutilation

Then I pointed out that she just put me in greater danger — I might stab myself if I misidentify people as threats

I was bluffing then; I decided not to carry such a weapon. But now I do

 

[Hollowillow]

Yeah, you're lucky she merely threatened you. It was a considerate warning, a signal to lie to her shamelessly

Because people with your secrets have power over you, and now it's clear how she'd wield it

Someone once threatened me with involuntary hospitalization, claiming that suicidal people are incapable of "rational decisionmaking." (She herself tried committing suicide once, clearly incompetently. She thought this made her a decisionmaking expert)

I replied that from now on, I'll carry a knife to commit suicide if that happened. She laughed, saying they were strong & would disarm me

So I countered by saying I'll dry-practice stabbing myself repeatedly & rapidly in the neck. Her bravado melted into horror. At my game-theoretic way to discourage her from ratting me out to the suicide cops: assured death/mutilation

Then I pointed out that she just put me in greater danger — I might stab myself if I misidentify people as threats

I was bluffing then; I decided not to carry such a weapon. But now I do

You're amazing. Even better than treatening to kill her to silence her

 

[tipsytiger]

It's your ex. You literally couldn't trust her with your heart. Dump her.

Voices can be a sign of low b vitamins. I miss mine. He had good advice.

Tell her you're just slowly getting over the break up and won't do anything stupid. Just lie.

Sad that everyone is a pro lifer. She didn't want you as a lover but force you to live unloved. Get rid of that bitch, or at least lie with the "I'm fine" line. Ratting you out to your parents instead to comfirt you is a lame move.

I sure hope that this bitch isn't your reason to die because you're better off without her. I hope you'll pamper yourself, then heal... It hurts to death to break up and feel unloved... I understand... I wish someone here could meet you... Or me.

Sorry to be a bitch myself I have emotional issues.

I wish I had a comfirting thing to say but I just had repeated trauma & my SI is like a rabid dog.

Please forgive me?

I hope you'll find peace. Taking out the trash is a good idea... But I don't think the trash is you.

The whole world is trash. I understand if you want out. She can't be trusted, now you know...

Thank you for your kind words! and no she's not the reason for my CTB. I've had my other reasons haha

Yeah, you're lucky she merely threatened you. It was a considerate warning, a signal to lie to her shamelessly

Because people with your secrets have power over you, and now it's clear how she'd wield it

Someone once threatened me with involuntary hospitalization, claiming that suicidal people are incapable of "rational decisionmaking." (She herself tried committing suicide once, clearly incompetently. She thought this made her a decisionmaking expert)

I replied that from now on, I'll carry a knife to commit suicide if that happened. She laughed, saying they were strong & would disarm me

So I countered by saying I'll dry-practice stabbing myself repeatedly & rapidly in the neck. Her bravado melted into horror. At my game-theoretic way to discourage her from ratting me out to the suicide cops: assured death/mutilation

Then I pointed out that she just put me in greater danger — I might stab myself if I misidentify people as threats

I was bluffing then; I decided not to carry such a weapon. But now I do

involuntarily hospitalization must be sucks. Yeah now things are settled down with me lying about my conditions

 

[hamvil]

I some panic attacks I started screaming to my wifi that I will kill myself. She also said that she would tell my father and that she would call the hospital to get me sedated if I continue. I will try to avoid repeating that in the future but I cannot control what I say when I have those attacks.

 

[Hollowillow]

Thank you for your kind words! and no she's not the reason for my CTB. I've had my other reasons haha

involuntarily hospitalization must be sucks. Yeah now things are settled down with me lying about my conditions

Ah I'm so happy you found me kind, someone else triggeted my SI's rage and it oozes all over the place against my intent.

I have mixed feelings about having different to ctb than her. I'm sorry you endure even worse, but relieved that you have enough self esteem not to give up life just for 1 bitch.

I think part of becoming like a wild animal was my recent voluntary hospitalisation. 5 days and they broke me. I went to flee a toxin in my home but then lied to gladly go die home. They denied me human rights... Laughed like clowns day and night rejecting the people who cried. No fuck was given. The food was great though... They taught me that I can hang myself with pants. Kinda tried there. My first attempt since 1991 was in a psych ward on suicide watch damn incompetents. I had nothing else to do.

I some panic attacks I started screaming to my wifi that I will kill myself. She also said that she would tell my father and that she would call the hospital to get me sedated if I continue. I will try to avoid repeating that in the future but I cannot control what I say when I have those attacks.

Hahaha, you made a typo and wrote wifi.

What a bitch to want to drug you!

Panic attacks can be from reactive hypoglycemia, allergies, toxic products, side effect of psych drugs (they even cause psychosis), coffee, lack of sleep, being married to a cunt.

I wish you hugs *hugs*

Next time scream "I need some space and peace". She'll have to fuck off
(I'd like to thank the mods for letting me use the b & c words without banning me. It's very therapeutic. The damn suicide hotline was more concerned about my cursing than my suffering. Damn cunt I can say it I'm a woman so it's not sexism)

 

[tipsytiger]

I some panic attacks I started screaming to my wifi that I will kill myself. She also said that she would tell my father and that she would call the hospital to get me sedated if I continue. I will try to avoid repeating that in the future but I cannot control what I say when I have those attacks.

It must be hard for you I feel so sorry after hearing that. People are always trying to solve things with external solution rather than understanding our condition first

 

[FuneralCry]

I would never see it as a good idea to tell others about wanting to ctb, after all we live in a world where suicide is so stigmatised and it's likely that telling others would just make things worse. If they are not going through something similar themselves then they would never be able to understand. I'm sorry that you are trapped in this situation, it just shows that you cannot really trust people. I would see it as better to just keep our suffering to ourselves. I wish you the best.

 

[theboy]

Leaving a suicide note to your family or her family, indicating that your ex has been bothering you

 

[tipsytiger]

I would never see it as a good idea to tell others about wanting to ctb, after all we live in a world where suicide is so stigmatised and it's likely that telling others would just make things worse. If they are not going through something similar themselves then they would never be able to understand. I'm sorry that you are trapped in this situation, it just shows that you cannot really trust people. I would see it as better to just keep our suffering to ourselves. I wish you the best.

yeah now i know i will not tell anybody that i will do ctb. I'm okay tho my ex trust that now i'm in a good condition

 

[chronicphysicalpain]

@Hollowillow 's advice to plainly lie to her ("I feel better about that now") and then limiting the contact with her seems the best way to go.

It feels odd to recommend somebody to lie but at least your anxiety will be less...

If you need to talk to somebody I'd try a pshychologist -if you can afford- or using this forum. Feel free to ask us and vent as much as you want!

 

[tipsytiger]

@Hollowillow 's advice to plainly lie to her ("I feel better about that now") and then limiting the contact with her seems the best way to go.

It feels odd to recommend somebody to lie but at least your anxiety will be less...

If you need to talk to somebody I'd try a pshychologist -if you can afford- or using this forum. Feel free to ask us and vent as much as you want!

thank you so much! i'm usually fine when I'm outside hanging around with my friends, but when I'm alone in my room i feel anxious like negative thoughts are always waiting for me and my chest feels heavy. I tried my best to let it be but sometimes the negativity still wins

 

[chronicphysicalpain]

thank you so much! i'm usually fine when I'm outside hanging around with my friends, but when I'm alone in my room i feel anxious like negative thoughts are always waiting for me and my chest feels heavy. I tried my best to let it be but sometimes the negativity still wins

Sounds to me like something psychotherapy could offer a treatment for if you can afford. I wish you luck whatever happens :(

 

[Everlong]

It's your ex. You literally couldn't trust her with your heart. Dump her.

Voices can be a sign of low b vitamins. I miss mine. He had good advice.

Tell her you're just slowly getting over the break up and won't do anything stupid. Just lie.

Sad that everyone is a pro lifer. She didn't want you as a lover but force you to live unloved. Get rid of that bitch, or at least lie with the "I'm fine" line. Ratting you out to your parents instead to comfirt you is a lame move.

I sure hope that this bitch isn't your reason to die because you're better off without her. I hope you'll pamper yourself, then heal... It hurts to death to break up and feel unloved... I understand... I wish someone here could meet you... Or me.

Sorry to be a bitch myself I have emotional issues.

I wish I had a comfirting thing to say but I just had repeated trauma & my SI is like a rabid dog.

Please forgive me?

I hope you'll find peace. Taking out the trash is a good idea... But I don't think the trash is you.

The whole world is trash. I understand if you want out. She can't be trusted, now you know...

I haven't figured out the quote function but that line about leaving him alone unloved is everything. Jesus Christ, that's it. I won't root anyone on to CTB. I hope the OP is able to put some of the blocks back in the jenga tower.
I know that rabid dog too. I started getting my shit in order and believe I have a hard date. But the exercise of giving shit away, throwing away and hanging price tags on my shit if they want to sell is therapeutic. It's like I just threw the dog a bone and I've lost his glance…for now. I still have to drink up.
I enjoyed your post. I'm sorry you've had a run of bad luck. People can be fucks.

I plan to do my CTB someday in this month, I've been living with depression and anxiety, I keep hearing voices whenever I close my eyes. My ex know about my condition and I've been telling her that its getting worse and I might actually do it. I thought I can trust her but she threatens me to tell my family if I keep doing this. The truth is I'm not 100% sure about the CTB but the pain of living every single day just hurts me so much. Now my anxiety is even more higher because I'm afraid if my family knows about this my condition will just get worse. It's not fair for someone to do this to me, I feel like a fool for telling my ex about my problem. This is so fucked up

They're correct. You must be careful with your words and under no circumstance do you speak cryptic. Everything is "great". Always. No matter how good it would feel to see some pain on her face from the news. You'll find yourself locked up saying "Everything is great" until they decide you're great to their satisfaction or they need the beds.
You're ending your pain. Not giving it to them. If it's vengeful, I wouldn't. But that's me. I'm going to be free. And I find some serious solace in the "fact". Whatever the Evermore is…
Good luck, whichever bus you catch.