Method My CTB with SN - will be my goodbye thread too

[Nephy]

I've finished my last project two days ago and feel so lost now that nothing holds me any longer in this world. I can feel it's time to go.

So I already have my SN (tested!) and Doperidone to avoid vomiting from my doctor and I bought some paracetamol (ibuprofen always makes me so I avoid)

I will take 3x 10mg doperidone the day before and start fasting the day before.
I am underweight - that's why I'm not sure about how much SN I should take

I found this and it says between 16 and 17g should be enough but I really don't want to risk anything by using not enough ..so maybe 20g and I will prepare 3 drinks (in case I vomit)

I'm really not satisfied with the paracetamol but I don't have access to something stronger .. maybe I will smoke a joint to calm down a bit more ? (I smoke regularly cannabis since some weeks) or I ask my doctor again today for something .. last time he gave me quetiapine but since I have doperidone I think it's useless.

My last thoughts are if I should organize my burial .. I would like to rest under a tree in a Woodland cemetery - but I'm not sure how long it would take to organize this and I can feel that I will only survive some days .. I'm so tired and powerless..

I will update this thread and I'm thankful for your thoughts




These are some of the images I created last days to show how I feel .. the last one is ready to ctb.

 

[Splurged]

That last image is really powerful , love it .
Quite often feel exactly like that image .

Happy travels friend , whatever your destiny .

 

[crush]

i wish you eternal peace my friend <3

 

[Edistrying]

I hope you can be in peace soon I'm here if you wanna talk o anything, remember that it's ok to regret ! I send you a huge

 

[Nephy]

Thank you all for your kind responses

I just remember I have some Tilidin - the date is expired but maybe? Would it help in anyway?

 

[ItsyBitsyWeetard]

Hey any updates?

 

[AmberianDawn]

wow beautiful images! the last one and the desire for liberation is immense, it has reached me. Remember that there is no need to rush, I hope you feel good and at peace with the decision, whatever it may be

 

[FuneralCry]

I hope you find peace, best wishes.

 

[Nephy]

I will ctb this weekend. Tomorrow I will give someone a goodbye gift ( not goodbye as ctb - we just don't see anymore in the future anyway) and then I have finished everything.
So I can go on Saturday or Sunday - I just have to check the best circumstances.

 

[Gangrel]

I'm sorry you are feeling this way.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I'm sorry that life brought you to this point. Good luck and I hope you find peace!

 

[Nephy]

There is no need to feel sorry.
I feel excited and I'm very happy that it's over soon!

 

[LittleBit]

Happy for you, slightly jealous, still trying to get my hands on a source for SN.

 

[Steff1337]

Whatever path you choose, I wish you never again have to experience pain and suffering.

 

[Beyond_Repair]

Good luck, I hope you find peace in whatever you decide to do. I plan to be joining soon as well

 

[BobSmoked]

There is no need to feel sorry.
I feel excited and I'm very happy that it's over soon!

In a way I'm sorry I'm fairly new you seem to be prepared I send love and best wishes you know what's best for you my friend please update if possible and make use all resources on here.

 

[Nephy]

Maybe I will add a stat dose of Quetiapine for calm down before .. or do you think it could be a problem? It always makes me tired and this could be good I think

Will also start taking domperidone 10mg every 8hours from now.

30.08.2024
6am domperidone 10mg
2pm domperidone 10mg
10pm domperidone 10mg
start fasting at 6pm

31.08.2024
6am domperidone 10mg
1:40 pm stat dose quetiapine (50mg in my case)
2pm 3x domperidone 10mg
Wait 40 minutes - taking SN drink (20g) and prepare a second and third
Smoke some weed if I need to calm down

Any thoughts on this plan?

 

[Kurai]

good luck and hope you find peace

 

[Themogger]

You should probably make the SN 25g. That's the general recommended dose under 100kg weight. Your backup could have more or the same but it's better to have too much than too little, I think

Maybe I will add a stat dose of Quetiapine for calm down before .. or do you think it could be a problem? It always makes me tired and this could be good I think

Will also start taking domperidone 10mg every 8hours from now.

30.08.2024
6am domperidone 10mg
2pm domperidone 10mg
10pm domperidone 10mg
start fasting at 6pm

31.08.2024
6am domperidone 10mg
1:40 pm stat dose quetiapine (50mg in my case)
2pm 3x domperidone 10mg
Wait 40 minutes - taking SN drink (20g) and prepare a second and third
Smoke some weed if I need to calm down

Any thoughts on this plan?

Wait I thought in a 48hr regiment, you're supposed to start fasting at the start. Just my assumption

 

[Nephy]

You should probably make the SN 25g. That's the general recommended dose under 100kg weight. Your backup could have more or the same but it's better to have too much than too little, I think

Wait I thought in a 48hr regiment, you're supposed to start fasting at the start. Just my assumption

I am underweight cause I have an eating disorder (anorexia) - that's why fasting is something I do usually but sometimes I have to eat something small like a yogurt to stay awake But anyway I can stop eating now .. I don't like food.. last meal was yesterday at 6pm so I will be near to 48hours.

This is also the reason for only 20g SN - I was reading it's enough (like in the first image in my thread) and I was hoping to lower the risk of vomit

 

[Themogger]

I am underweight cause I have an eating disorder (anorexia) - that's why fasting is something I do usually but sometimes I have to eat something small like a yogurt to stay awake But anyway I can stop eating now .. I don't like food

This is also the reason for only 20g SN - I was reading it's enough (like in the first image in my thread) and I was hoping to lower the risk of vomit

Good point

 

[Nephy]

Maybe I will add a stat dose of Quetiapine for calm down before .. or do you think it could be a problem? It always makes me tired and this could be good I think

Oh I just found out that this isn't a great idea

If the drugs (domperidone & quetiapine) are combined, undesirable effects such as cardiac arrhythmias may occur. In this context, palpitations, shortness of breath, dizziness or fainting could occur.

So I better run without quetiapine .. I don't want to pass out before drinking my SN

 

[HiddenPain]

Wishing you nothing but peace.

 

[Next]

Ich wünsche Dir eine sichere und angenehme Reise.
Ich hoffe du magst dort die Ruhe finden, welche Dir das Leben versagte.

Gute Reise!

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I hope you find eternal peace!

 

[Nephy]

I am sooo thankful for people like you who don't judge me or try to change my mind thank you all - it's such a great feeling to be here on my last days

 

[Nephy]

I just said goodbye to the best human I ever meet.. I'm so sad that our time is over ..
He is such a wonderful person

But this was the last thing on my todo list .. I am so ready now! Can't wait to go ..

30.08.2024
6am domperidone 10mg
2pm domperidone 10mg
10pm domperidone 10mg

31.08.2024
6am domperidone 10mg
2pm 3x domperidone 10mg
Wait 40 minutes - taking SN drink (20g) and prepare a second and third
Smoke some weed if I need to calm down

Oh I have to check again when I should take the paracetamol ..

 

[Nephy]

Good morning from Germany ..

30.08.2024
6am domperidone 10mg
2pm domperidone 10mg
10pm domperidone 10mg

31.08.2024
6am domperidone 10mg
2 pm 1000mg paracetamol
2:15 pm 3x domperidone 10mg
Wait 45 minutes
3pm taking SN drink (20g) and prepare a second and third

Smoke some weed if I need to calm down.

I don't know how I feel at the moment .. kind of peaceful I think .. haven't eat anything since the night before I started the thread but I don't feel hungry - I think it's because of the domperidone.
I'm thinking a lot about the person I said goodbye yesterday..
I have some things on my todo list like delete my browser and phone data and write some last advices like where I want to rest ( I bought a place under a tree )

Thinking about scheduling some WhatsApp messages to the people I like .. which would be send in a week

 

[rozeske]

I wish you the best and a peaceful journey

 

[preparememe]

are you okay?