My big step!

[Braindead Atheist]

Ok you guys! I tied a slip knot and put the rope in my car. I hope my fucking parents can just mind their own goddamn business and not take it. I'm killing myself after this fund raising thing I'm going to do. I have 0 to live for. I'm not smart enough to work and get either bullied or fired. My parents are making me move out anyways and I don't know what to do. I just know I don't want to be here. This is the only place I feel safe, welcome, understood and unjudged. I can't wait to just leave this life and all of its problems.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

Do your parents search your car for things that you might harm yourself with? Is that a regular thing? Is there anywhere else you could hide it?

 

[Suicideorgy]

Personally id tie the slip knot after I got where I was going. That way its just a rope. Never know when you might need rope.

 

[FuneralCry]

Life does seem as though it's just endless problems and suffering with no relief. I envy those who have managed to leave. Other people really should just respect our right to die. Nobody should ever be forced to live, that's beyond selfish and cruel. I hope that you find freedom from what you are going through.

 

[Braindead Atheist]

Do your parents search your car for things that you might harm yourself with? Is that a regular thing? Is there anywhere else you could hide it?

I lose things a lot and they go in there to look for the stuff I lost or just put the windows up sometimes. Idk I just want to die and get away. I don't feel comfortable around people anymore. I think I'd be happier if it were just over. I can't do this anymore. I wish I could just never wake up again. I'd be happier that way. Or at least neutral.

Life does seem as though it's just endless problems and suffering with no relief. I envy those who have managed to leave. Other people really should just respect our right to die. Nobody should ever be forced to live, that's beyond selfish and cruel. I hope that you find freedom from what you are going through.

Exactly. If I didn't have a fundraiser to plan, I'd tie that rope and ctb today.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I lose things a lot and they go in there to look for the stuff I lost or just put the windows up sometimes. Idk I just want to die and get away. I don't feel comfortable around people anymore. I think I'd be happier if it were just over. I can't do this anymore. I wish I could just never wake up again. I'd be happier that way. Or at least neutral.

Can you hide the rope under your mattress or something? Would that be safer than leaving it in your car where you know your parents look for things on occasion?

 

[Braindead Atheist]

Can you hide the rope under your mattress or something? Would that be safer than leaving it in your car where you know your parents look for things on occasion?

I actually hid it under my mattress before so I guess I'll do that again. I need to plan my actual ctb time. I think I'm going to do it at night and next time something goes wrong at work. I just need to have a chair or something to stand on in my car and get out without my parents seeing. Idk I think I just need some of this stuff handy. What kind of easy access pills can kill you that I could take as a back up? I've tried diphenhydromine. I guess I could make a toxic mix of cleaning solutions, pills, alcohol and like dirt or something.

I was going to try a nyan cocktail, but it's to complicated.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

What kind of easy access pills can kill you that I could take as a back up? I've tried diphenhydromine. I guess I could make a toxic mix of cleaning solutions, pills, alcohol and like dirt or

Experimentation with haphazardly mixing substances together to ctb is a bad idea. You're likely to just harm yourself. Where would things be for you if that happened? Most likely worse off than you are now. You're better off sticking with methods that have had, at least to some degree, verified success.

 

[Braindead Atheist]

I'm going to put it back under my mattress and then I'll buy a chair and hide it in my trunk. Then sometime when they're gone, I'll do the deed. It will be over soon and I'm glad. I have a plan B and plan C. My plan B is to ctb with someone I met on this site awhile back. We could both drink nyan cocktails. My plan C is to od on something, and then cut my wrists so my blood toxicity levels are so high that doctors can't do anything about it. Or another thing I thought of was just having my bulimia kill me. Over work myself at tumbling and the gym and then make myself throw up everything I eat. No water or anything else that gives electrolytes or potassium back. I could just continue that until cardiac arrest occurs.

What's everyone's vote? I personally think the bulimia thing is most painless, but hanging is quick too.

Experimentation with haphazardly mixing substances together to ctb is a bad idea. You're likely to just harm yourself. Where would things be for you if that happened? Most likely worse off than you are now. You're better off sticking with methods that have had, at least to some degree, verified success.

Yeah, idk. I'm desperate to ctb, but want something that I can depend on. I need a surefire plan. Ik bulimia can lead to low electrolights, and potassium which can lead to cardiac arrest. I guess I could make myself throw up, not drink water and over work myself. Terri Shivo died that way.