My bf has been arrested

[progressingdeath]

My bf has been arrested and I can't say for what but it's really bad.

Ever only been together for a year but he brought my life into the light. We did stuff together and I'm so angry and upset… I had no idea what was going on or how bad. I feel like he threw our happiness away and it breaks my heart.

I can't hear from him and I feel so alone. I was finally not drinking every day and suddenly he's gone. I stopped drinking for me but also because I wanted to experience our happy life in full… now it was stripped away from me. It's not even my fault but I'm so sad. I'm so alone, nauseated and ill.

Why would someone bring me so much happiness to just take it away with their own foolishness and horribleness?

I'm so sick. I'm trying to do all I can to stay on the right path and go out and get a new job and make action into motivation. Try not to relapse… I was so happy. I'm in grief and I'm going through the stages of grief. God… why. He's facing such a long time and I was truly falling in love with him!!

And people ask why I'm torturing myself by smelling his clothes if he did something wrong to be detained for so long… because I loved him and he was so good for me. Finally I felt the light in full but the light provided to me … was dim.

I'm afraid he didn't love me the way I loved him and that's why he didn't care enough to think about his actions… I loved him so much but I can't even stand by him. It hurts so bad. I just want to let go into despair but the light is so close

I could use some words of encouragement or some words to just let go…I got some heroin and I'm ready to go but I don't want to let go yet. I was so happy and I'm on suboxone. It just hurts so bad but I'm finally not a tornado of emotions anymore

Whatever they may be
Before he was arrested I tried to hang myself and he found me. I was doing so well… I feel so alone and scared and angry

 

[BradGuy123]

I'm so sorry for what you're going through. I can't imagine what you must be feeling right now. I haven't been through anything similar so I don't know what to say. You have a community of people here who do care where this is a safe place to share your feelings. Sending you a virtual hug.

 

[bugfart]

My bf has been arrested and I can't say for what but it's really bad.

Ever only been together for a year but he brought my life into the light. We did stuff together and I'm so angry and upset… I had no idea what was going on or how bad. I feel like he threw our happiness away and it breaks my heart.

I can't hear from him and I feel so alone. I was finally not drinking every day and suddenly he's gone. I stopped drinking for me but also because I wanted to experience our happy life in full… now it was stripped away from me. It's not even my fault but I'm so sad. I'm so alone, nauseated and ill.

Why would someone bring me so much happiness to just take it away with their own foolishness and horribleness?

I'm so sick. I'm trying to do all I can to stay on the right path and go out and get a new job and make action into motivation. Try not to relapse… I was so happy. I'm in grief and I'm going through the stages of grief. God… why. He's facing such a long time and I was truly falling in love with him!!

And people ask why I'm torturing myself by smelling his clothes if he did something wrong to be detained for so long… because I loved him and he was so good for me. Finally I felt the light in full but the light provided to me … was dim.

I'm afraid he didn't love me the way I loved him and that's why he didn't care enough to think about his actions… I loved him so much but I can't even stand by him. It hurts so bad. I just want to let go into despair but the light is so close

I could use some words of encouragement or some words to just let go…I got some heroin and I'm ready to go but I don't want to let go yet. I was so happy and I'm on suboxone. It just hurts so bad but I'm finally not a tornado of emotions anymore

Whatever they may be
Before he was arrested I tried to hang myself and he found me. I was doing so well… I feel so alone and scared and angry

I've been there done that. He got arrested at my place and I didn't know until after that years ago he tried to strangle his ex (explains a lot of the mistreatment I experienced) and he's been in jail since for a couple months. In the beginning stages I'd smell all the clothes he left behind and I struggled to pick up the mess he left in my room, he was mad that I wanted him out after an argument and trashed it. I used to be so anxious but excited to receive the jail calls. He probably could call you but it costs money, and sometimes it takes a while for them to be able to get to a phone. I can't stand by mine and the way I feel is complex. I completely get it and if you ever need someone to talk to hit me up. I'm 100% serious and I wish I had someone who didn't judge me when all that stuff went down a couple months ago. Mine still calls me occasionally just to argue with me and I'm very aware that nothing will ever change. The only thing you can look forward to from here is maybe making more friends and getting invested in new hobbies? I've been reading alot and occupying myself lately.

I stopped believing in love. Nobody's ever made me feel the same way my "jailbird" does.. and this was/ has been an awful relationship. Can't change anybody if they don't want to be changed and they've got to do their time for their crimes. but it'll never be this low or high again. The highs were so high and the lows in our relationship sent me to the mental ward. The positive is that when I'm alone I don't have to worry so much. I'm much less stressed when he can only call me once a week and let me know he's ok and he always calls me a couple choice words or cusses me out but I get it over with and just remind him how he can be better. You'll eventually quit worrying as much as well. You have the passage of time on your side. He will eventually get out as well. It's your prerogative to wait for him or not, don't feel guilty for moving on. And going out and getting a new job is a great plan!

 

[progressingdeath]

I've been there done that. He got arrested at my place and I didn't know until after that years ago he tried to strangle his ex (explains a lot of the mistreatment I experienced) and he's been in jail since for a couple months. In the beginning stages I'd smell all the clothes he left behind and I struggled to pick up the mess he left in my room, he was mad that I wanted him out after an argument and trashed it. I used to be so anxious but excited to receive the jail calls. He probably could call you but it costs money, and sometimes it takes a while for them to be able to get to a phone. I can't stand by mine and the way I feel is complex. I completely get it and if you ever need someone to talk to hit me up. I'm 100% serious and I wish I had someone who didn't judge me when all that stuff went down a couple months ago. Mine still calls me occasionally just to argue with me and I'm very aware that nothing will ever change. The only thing you can look forward to from here is maybe making more friends and getting invested in new hobbies? I've been reading alot and occupying myself lately.

I stopped believing in love. Nobody's ever made me feel the same way my "jailbird" does.. and this was/ has been an awful relationship. Can't change anybody if they don't want to be changed and they've got to do their time for their crimes. but it'll never be this low or high again. The highs were so high and the lows in our relationship sent me to the mental ward. The positive is that when I'm alone I don't have to worry so much. I'm much less stressed when he can only call me once a week and let me know he's ok and he always calls me a couple choice words or cusses me out but I get it over with and just remind him how he can be better. You'll eventually quit worrying as much as well. You have the passage of time on your side. He will eventually get out as well. It's your prerogative to wait for him or not, don't feel guilty for moving on. And going out and getting a new job is a great plan!

My relationship was beautiful and felt so healthy… his accused crime is something I cannot… I can't even talk about it.

I'm just grieving right now. I'm grieving my imperfect perfect happy life and I'm falling apart. I'm making plans to get my life back together. All I know is that I can't go back to the way I used to be in the past before meeting him

 

[Redhand5]

My bf has been arrested and I can't say for what but it's really bad.

Ever only been together for a year but he brought my life into the light. We did stuff together and I'm so angry and upset… I had no idea what was going on or how bad. I feel like he threw our happiness away and it breaks my heart.

I can't hear from him and I feel so alone. I was finally not drinking every day and suddenly he's gone. I stopped drinking for me but also because I wanted to experience our happy life in full… now it was stripped away from me. It's not even my fault but I'm so sad. I'm so alone, nauseated and ill.

Why would someone bring me so much happiness to just take it away with their own foolishness and horribleness?

I'm so sick. I'm trying to do all I can to stay on the right path and go out and get a new job and make action into motivation. Try not to relapse… I was so happy. I'm in grief and I'm going through the stages of grief. God… why. He's facing such a long time and I was truly falling in love with him!!

And people ask why I'm torturing myself by smelling his clothes if he did something wrong to be detained for so long… because I loved him and he was so good for me. Finally I felt the light in full but the light provided to me … was dim.

I'm afraid he didn't love me the way I loved him and that's why he didn't care enough to think about his actions… I loved him so much but I can't even stand by him. It hurts so bad. I just want to let go into despair but the light is so close

I could use some words of encouragement or some words to just let go…I got some heroin and I'm ready to go but I don't want to let go yet. I was so happy and I'm on suboxone. It just hurts so bad but I'm finally not a tornado of emotions anymore

Whatever they may be
Before he was arrested I tried to hang myself and he found me. I was doing so well… I feel so alone and scared and angry

That sounds like a very tough moment of yours and his life together. I'm not going to ask what he's accused of, but I will ask if it's something that if he's released and comes back to you, would you be able to find that happiness together again with what you know?
If you can live with it and the legal hurdles, than that might be what youll do. If you can't though, it might be better to use this current moment to plan your life by yourself for yourself. We don't often get given the luxury of choosing who we love, our hearts can guide themselves despite what our mind days haha. If you do end up parting ways, do so with hope that'll you will find a better version of yourself in the future. It might take a while, longer than you'd like, but it might be worth it in the end. Take the now and build yourself in a way that you'll be proud of.
You might be all alone in your life right now, but this forum is full of people that won't judge you or hate you or disown you. Perfect stranger, you are dear to me. Treat yourself well, please. You are a human living this life for the first time, and doing so as a human being.