Honestly I'm exhausted.
I'm not saying I'm a saint or anything but I never have hurt anyone to get to where I am. I've always worked hard and tried to bring my friends up with me. But whenever I seem to take time to work on myself I'm 'selfish' or I 'think I'm better then them'.
My parents have given me EVERYTHING and I thought now would be the time I could finally try to repay them a fraction of what they've done for me. Instead I'm a mess.
My fiancé broke up with me completely out of the blue. I did everything for this girl. She meant the world to me. She came out saying things like I didn't support her studies and stuff like that. I'd literally spend day and night making sure our relationship wasn't a distraction and she was able to pursue her dreams.
Her brother, who was my 'friend' caused havoc for me. Everyone else seemed to be more important to him except me and his sister. I can't be bothered to go into details but it was a mess. I did my best but all people would focus on is my mistakes.
I was literally never allowed to make a mistake.
I miss this girl. I'm ashamed of how much this is affecting me. I've been bullied, I've had people get angry at me for nothing but I've always got on with things. She was the first person I opened up to about everything, especially my fear of never being able to repay my parents. They don't expect anything but they deserve the world.
Every mistake I make seems to have 100 times the consequences anyone else would have to face for the same mistake. My best is just never good enough and it never will be. I am a shell of myself. I used to be so happy and find joy in the smallest things. Now I don't care. I don't care about anything. I am simply existing and I want it to end.
I'm not saying I'm a saint or anything but I never have hurt anyone to get to where I am. I've always worked hard and tried to bring my friends up with me. But whenever I seem to take time to work on myself I'm 'selfish' or I 'think I'm better then them'.
My parents have given me EVERYTHING and I thought now would be the time I could finally try to repay them a fraction of what they've done for me. Instead I'm a mess.
My fiancé broke up with me completely out of the blue. I did everything for this girl. She meant the world to me. She came out saying things like I didn't support her studies and stuff like that. I'd literally spend day and night making sure our relationship wasn't a distraction and she was able to pursue her dreams.
Her brother, who was my 'friend' caused havoc for me. Everyone else seemed to be more important to him except me and his sister. I can't be bothered to go into details but it was a mess. I did my best but all people would focus on is my mistakes.
I was literally never allowed to make a mistake.
I miss this girl. I'm ashamed of how much this is affecting me. I've been bullied, I've had people get angry at me for nothing but I've always got on with things. She was the first person I opened up to about everything, especially my fear of never being able to repay my parents. They don't expect anything but they deserve the world.
Every mistake I make seems to have 100 times the consequences anyone else would have to face for the same mistake. My best is just never good enough and it never will be. I am a shell of myself. I used to be so happy and find joy in the smallest things. Now I don't care. I don't care about anything. I am simply existing and I want it to end.
