mental+physical health vent //

[Lawliet]

hi everyone, been awhile since i've posted but i'm back again to vent. i will try to make it short but i'm a 27 year old transman who lives at home due to disability. i have bpd, ptsd, chronic migraines, and gastroparesis (it's where your body doesn't digest food well and you're super limited in what you can eat). i've been doing medically approved ketamine treatments for my migraines which i have 24/7 and it's not doing anything. we've tried literally everything else for migraines and been to several specialists with no help. my parents are putting a lot of money into it which they constantly remind me of. i'm grateful for my parents but i also feel like such a burden. i need a lot of help doing basic things and i can't drive. i don't have a a social life.

also, with my next paragraph please just understand that if you hate trans people then this isn't the thread for you. i don't need even more people being awful to me about it. it's one of the main reasons why myself and so many other people who are trans are suicidal.

i wish that i could simply present as the gender i feel that i am. i don't want to have to do surgery or do testosterone replacement to "pass" as a man. i live in an extremely transphobic state with an extremely transphobic family. i'm worried that if i live my true self i will be cut off from my beloved niece and nephews. it's a nightmare.

i want to do sn as it seems the fastest and safest method but with my medical problems i don't think that's an option. i wish i had a gun and the knowledge to use one. thank you for giving me the opportunity to vent and for this website.

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm sorry that you are going through all this. Life really is so unfair. I know that it is hard to carry on when you are suffering so much. To me, it is so horrifying how so many health conditions even exist in the first place, I can imagine that it must be really tiring having to go through that. I wish you the best.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

hi everyone, been awhile since i've posted but i'm back again to vent. i will try to make it short but i'm a 27 year old transman who lives at home due to disability. i have bpd, ptsd, chronic migraines, and gastroparesis (it's where your body doesn't digest food well and you're super limited in what you can eat). i've been doing medically approved ketamine treatments for my migraines which i have 24/7 and it's not doing anything. we've tried literally everything else for migraines and been to several specialists with no help. my parents are putting a lot of money into it which they constantly remind me of. i'm grateful for my parents but i also feel like such a burden. i need a lot of help doing basic things and i can't drive. i don't have a a social life.

also, with my next paragraph please just understand that if you hate trans people then this isn't the thread for you. i don't need even more people being awful to me about it. it's one of the main reasons why myself and so many other people who are trans are suicidal.

i wish that i could simply present as the gender i feel that i am. i don't want to have to do surgery or do testosterone replacement to "pass" as a man. i live in an extremely transphobic state with an extremely transphobic family. i'm worried that if i live my true self i will be cut off from my beloved niece and nephews. it's a nightmare.

i want to do sn as it seems the fastest and safest method but with my medical problems i don't think that's an option. i wish i had a gun and the knowledge to use one. thank you for giving me the opportunity to vent and for this website.

I'm sorry to hear about all the conditions you're having to deal with. It must be overwhelming. You said you have tried everything for your migraines. You probably have already, but have you tried cannabis? Your parents are obviously are doing everything they can, as you say, because they love you. i'm not sure what to make of the constantly reminding you of it. That serves no useful purpose and just makes you feel guilty.

You may have to make a sacrifice to save yourself regarding your transgenderism. It will be difficult, I'm sure. You can't live your life trying to make others happy. It will tear you down over time and destroy you. You will begin to resent everyone who is keeping you from living your truth, even when they really aren't doing anything to stop you, per say, except that you feel you will lose them if you do. I guess it takes a degree of selfishness on your part to be true to yourself no matter what the consequences are. In the end, if your family can't accept it, that is THEIR problem, not yours. I know that sounds brutal, but it is the truth. You are still young and have quite a bit of time ahead of you. If your state is that bad, you may have to move. To me, it already seems like your are torn up inside emotionally. How do you know that some of your physical ailments are not indirectly caused by you not being able to live as the true you? Inner turmoil can manifest itself that way in ways e cannot even imagine.

I'm not going to try and talk you out of anything you feel you need to do. You have to make the most important decision of your life, thus far, yourself. I hope you make the right decision for you and no one else.

 

[Lawliet]

I'm sorry to hear about all the conditions you're having to deal with. It must be overwhelming. You said you have tried everything for your migraines. You probably have already, but have you tried cannabis? Your parents are obviously are doing everything they can, as you say, because they love you. i'm not sure what to make of the constantly reminding you of it. That serves no useful purpose and just makes you feel guilty.

You may have to make a sacrifice to save yourself regarding your transgenderism. It will be difficult, I'm sure. You can't live your life trying to make others happy. It will tear you down over time and destroy you. You will begin to resent everyone who is keeping you from living your truth, even when they really aren't doing anything to stop you, per say, except that you feel you will lose them if you do. I guess it takes a degree of selfishness on your part to be true to yourself no matter what the consequences are. In the end, if your family can't accept it, that is THEIR problem, not yours. I know that sounds brutal, but it is the truth. You are still young and have quite a bit of time ahead of you. If your state is that bad, you may have to move. To me, it already seems like your are torn up inside emotionally. How do you know that some of your physical ailments are not indirectly caused by you not being able to live as the true you? Inner turmoil can manifest itself that way in ways e cannot even imagine.

I'm not going to try and talk you out of anything you feel you need to do. You have to make the most important decision of your life, thus far, yourself. I hope you make the right decision for you and no one else.

sorry this is taking so long to respond but i wanted to tell you thank you. what you have said has meant a lot to me and has helped me through a lot of really hard days. i'm no good with words but i really appreciate yours.

 

[thereisthemist]

environment affects you a lot.
try building some support circles, and it's actually good news almost all your facings has some support community already established in real life.
and of course vent freely it's good to express your emotions out. you then even have a record to remind yourself later, how much you have already achieved.
stay safe, stay colourful.