meant to die

[clearing eyes]

even when i myself am not suicidal, there is always something in my mind that is beckoning me towards death. it's as though i am receiving messages from the outside, messages that tell me i do not belong here. i don't hear them, they are just there. maybe some of us are here by mistake, and i do believe i am one of them. i've never loved myself, i never felt like a person, but rather fragments of others and fragments of my inner child all haphazardly put together. every few years i am dismantled, and i don't remember anything. i am 18 but i think my mind stopped developing. someone like this is not meant for survival, and my mind knows that.

 

[WornOutLife]

Yes, it happens a lot to me too.
I feel that I don't belong but for some reason, I'm stuck here.

I've been close to dying twice.

The first time, I was running on a beach in the very morning, and when I reach a rocky part, suddenly, A HUGE WAVE SHOWS UP and almost gets me drowned my head or any body part could've easily hit the rocks and I wouldn't be telling this story now.

The second time, I was walking on a street and part of a balcony falls off about 10cm from me, literally, 10 cm!!! If I had walked faster or something, that would've hit my head and killed my instantly.(the sideway ended up really destroyed, so it seems that was really heavy)

What I mean is that, maybe we don't belong here, but for some reason, "something"wants us here for now. Or maybe there's simply nothing and we're a "failed" human product.

 

[Deleted member 19654]

I was thinking about this the other day. I opened up a fortune cookie and my fortune inside read 'you are travelling down the right path'. I guess the universe is telling me that I should go ahead with my plans to ctb

 

[Dreamless Sleep]

I was thinking about this the other day. I opened up a fortune cookie and my fortune inside read 'you are travelling down the right path'. I guess the universe is telling me that I should go ahead with my plans to ctb

Or... it could mean that you are on the path of talking to people here that understand you and perhaps in time, your path will branch off another direction?