I've finally accepted that life has never, ever been worth it, and it's never going to be worth it. It doesn't get better. It has never gotten better. It doesn't matter what you do, what you build, what you try to accomplish.
And I absolutely believe in fate and destiny. If this wasn't my destiny, someone, somewhere would have been kind to me-- not out of obligation or a sense of burden, but because they meant it. If this wasn't my destiny, a door would have opened somewhere. I wouldn't have spent 15 years alone in an empty hallway pounding on doors that would always remain closed. If this wasn't my destiny, somewhere, at some point, God would have noticed and considered me worthy of an answered prayer.
I have two methods, a primary and a backup. Yesterday, I held the backup method in my hands for a few minutes and out poured the most intense, glorious sense of relief I have ever experienced. It was like stepping out of frigid waters and feeling myself warmed by the hot sun. If this wasn't my destiny, then the simple act of picking up a bottle wouldn't have given me the most intense sense of relief I have ever experienced in my life.
And I absolutely believe in fate and destiny. If this wasn't my destiny, someone, somewhere would have been kind to me-- not out of obligation or a sense of burden, but because they meant it. If this wasn't my destiny, a door would have opened somewhere. I wouldn't have spent 15 years alone in an empty hallway pounding on doors that would always remain closed. If this wasn't my destiny, somewhere, at some point, God would have noticed and considered me worthy of an answered prayer.
I have two methods, a primary and a backup. Yesterday, I held the backup method in my hands for a few minutes and out poured the most intense, glorious sense of relief I have ever experienced. It was like stepping out of frigid waters and feeling myself warmed by the hot sun. If this wasn't my destiny, then the simple act of picking up a bottle wouldn't have given me the most intense sense of relief I have ever experienced in my life.
