maybe it’s time

[thedevilwithin]

i come on here every so often when it's late night. i wish i could've lived a good life. i wish i could have all the clichés. there's so much that goes through my head it's difficult to begin.

i'm so deeply in love with you j. i don't see you often anymore. when i did though, locking eyes with you is one of the few things i really felt. but i know i'm no good for you. i love you enough to not add anything negative to your life so i will always love you from a distance. it destroys me but that's okay.

i genuinely hate myself. i've failed everyone. i am unlovable. i feel so cold and detached from everything and everyone. i fucked it all up i just want to restart. i dont know if i want to die, but i feel like i have to. it's the only way i see out.