Making the Decision

[CrossEyedCat]

I've spent the last few(10? Who knows now. Maybe my whole life) years attempting to find things that will keep me here. Jobs, people, hobbies, any kind of passion for something that could be enough for me to want to continue. I've tried finding something, anything that trumps the feeling of absolute distaste for this world and what it has to offer. I found a good man and he does make me happy. But it's only so much. And never to his fault, only my own. I seize no dedication to this life and I wish I could explain to the ones I do love that it has nothing to do with them or their efforts.

I would love to know, what was it that helped you decide? What was the thing that solidified your decision?
It's been been an after thought for me. A means to an end. My back fall. But today it's my choice. The final one. No one did anything bad to me, It wasn't any person or event that "pushed me over the edge". It was more.. I've been attempting to save my own life for quite some time and I couldn't. I couldn't find the thing I needed that was worth feeling this way for. That doesn't mean I didn't love. Oh, I love someone. So much. And they did show me what it means to be with someone who accepts everything about me. Even if I didn't show it all, I know I could have, and without judgement. This provided me the peace and comfort I needed to be okay with my decisions. To accept that what I truly want is okay.

So. What was it for you? How did you know that it was the right choice?

 

[ClownMe]

The final thing that sealed my fate was when I couldn't be bothered watching sport or playing video games earlier this year, those were the only two things I enjoyed doing in life and now I can't stand doing either. Similarly to you ive tried lots of different things in an attempt to find meaning and stay here, but I simply can't find anything that justifies my existence. Im holding out until my dog dies and then shortly after I will ctb.

 

[CynicalHopelessness]

With my heavy anhedonia, there are very few things in life enjoyable at all, certainly not enough to offset the dread I've always been getting from doing wage labor. I've given myself enough time to see how things go, and they only go downhill. So, I've decided to take a break from working and live off savings for a while, and then I'll just opt out of all this exhausting BS. That's the only plan that is realistic, logically coherent and aligns with getting away from what I've come to hate.

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

So. What was it for you? How did you know that it was the right choice?

Tfw no gf, simple as.

 

[FuneralCry]

For me personally, I have came to the conclusion that life is simply not for me. I see my existence a mistake and my suicide will prevent decades of suffering. It is the only thing that makes sense to me. The future will just get worse for me. There is nothing I like about living, and I have no reason to carry on. I just want rest and non existence.

 

[enau]

well i tried everything i could in despair, and i found nothing.. no answears, question, love, frioendship, i made a lot of efforts, because i was a deprived child, i wanted to give a try, and i did, but in the wrong way, i failed, just felt everything with all my despair, people were quite mean to me i think, in the globality, and i dont feel any desire.NoW.I feel desespered, very bad, but i cant find any dream, hope, desire .. i cant and dont want pursue the programm named life upon these ruins, season 1 was enough, i deserve better, that s why i wish to put an end to this misery.Yeah struggle everybreath, struggle even for obtain your peaceful death

 

[Walkingcorpse123]

I lost my romanticism. The way I see life now is "So much struggle so little reward if any"