Venting Loved Ones Post Suicide

[Done here]

Idk what I'm feeling if it's rethinking it or coming to terms with what will happen when I'm gone. I'm just so upset at the thought of my little sister mourning me. She's only 11 and it's so heartbreaking just thinking about it. I know I will CTB it just brings me to tears thinking of how she could react.

 

[MsMaudlin]

I totally understand, I have a child a similar age. I cry when I think about them ❤

 

[Phinleh]

I've got a younger brother and sister, both in college and my leaving is going to destroy them. I really hope they'll understand why I had to go but in my heart, I know they'll likely just hate me for it.

Hurts but so it goes. Maybe when they're older and have kids, they'll forgive me and tell them stories of the goofy shit they used to get up to with their dead uncle. Maybe they'll try to forget I exist.

 

[justfloating]

I've got a younger brother and sister, both in college and my leaving is going to destroy them. I really hope they'll understand why I had to go but in my heart, I know they'll likely just hate me for it.

Hurts but so it goes. Maybe when they're older and have kids, they'll forgive me and tell them stories of the goofy shit they used to get up to with their dead uncle. Maybe they'll try to forget I exist.

I don't think they'll hate you for it, they'll hate the choice you made, but not you. I don't think people who haven't experienced suicidal thoughts will ever understand why some people do CTB, and thats not a bad thing, so long as they accept the choices people make. I too worry about the people I love forgetting me a few moths after I do it, but I don't think they ever will not the people who truly know you and love you.

 

[ShaMD]

I think about this often and has been my biggest struggle in coming to terms with CTB. My goal is to leave them with as little unanswered questions as I possibly can in my notes/videos. I'd also like to ease the burden by ensuring everything is well taken care of in terms of finances, personal belongings, funeral, etc. Doesn't necessarily make it any easier on them, but at least if I best explain why I couldn't keep going, then it may help knowing I'm finally at peace.

 

[Ghost2211]

I know how you feel. Every time I look at my kids I feel like a horrible mom and person.

 

[Backwoodsqueer]

I completely understand. I have a two year old niece who I love more than anything. I'm torn between ctb before she has the chance to form memories with me so she can't really miss me, or giving her the chance to know me for a few years but putting her through the grieving process.

 

[rntmss]

I'm mostly sad when thinking about my parents. They really are great people and none of this is their fault.
They are honestly the reason why I haven't followed through with anything recently. When my dad came to visit me in the psych ward after muc last attempt a year ago, he was just the most supportive. Didn't ask me why or pass judgement. He just sat next to me, gave me a hug, and held my hand while we talked about sports. This was after my wife left the hospital once they moved me out of ER.

and now I'm crying again... damn it!