Love vs Anxiety

[Wisdom3_1-9]

I can't help shake this feeling that my husband doesn't love me.

Early in our relationship, I used to occasionally be convinced that he only stayed with me for money, stability, and sex. Even now, almost five years into our relationship I keep thinking he doesn't actually love me and it's all just an act. If I think logically, that seems like it must be crazy, but the thought keeps plaguing me.

Does anyone else experience this with their SO as a symptom of their anxiety?

 

[glittergore]

I get like this with all my interpersonal relationships. For example, my best friend of 10 years frequently reassures me that she loves me, but I still have that lingering doubt that can blossom into an anxiety hyperfixation on some days. I'm also currently engaging in a romantic prospect and, while it seems to be going well, I have the same anxiety that she doesn't really like me. I wish I could offer advice on how to handle this, but it's difficult for me as well. I just try to hold onto the logic as much as I can.

 

[iDieUDie80]

Sounds like potentially borderline personality disorder or relationship OCD.

 

[noaccount]

Rather than trying to match ill-fitting and non-explanatory psychiatric labels to my thoughts and feelings I try to question where and when they started, what they mean to me... What I struggle with in relationships is different from this but it's difficult either way I'm sure.

 

[Wisdom3_1-9]

I get like this with all my interpersonal relationships. For example, my best friend of 10 years frequently reassures me that she loves me, but I still have that lingering doubt that can blossom into an anxiety hyperfixation on some days. I'm also currently engaging in a romantic prospect and, while it seems to be going well, I have the same anxiety that she doesn't really like me. I wish I could offer advice on how to handle this, but it's difficult for me as well. I just try to hold onto the logic as much as I can.

This resonates so strongly with me. I've had so many important people in my life leave me. Do they leave because eventually they get tired of me? Do they leave because they were never really there for me in the first place? I can't trust anyone to really stay. I can't trust anyone to love me. I trusted someone deeply - more than I trusted even my own husband - and he betrayed me and ruined my life. Maybe everyone is like that.

 

[Cherrypea]

I think maybe it's the self worthlessness that comes with anxiety. The feeling that you don't really deserve anyone to love you so you doubt it and push people away.

 

[woxihuanni]

Wow, to actually expect love blows my mind. Just cannot wrap my mind around it. My partner clearly simply uses me, but however many functions I have for them, they insist it's high time I killed myself. I begged and pleaded to be allowed to live because I'm useful, it doesn't work. So that's a lot lower than slavery (slaves are wanted alive).

Can I just swap your life for mine?