Venting Losing Friends

[kishi]

I feel like my friend who knows that im struggling is distancing themself from me. I waited for weeks when I said that I want to talk with them/vent. they said "yeah sure ill let you know im free" and I waited... And saw him on a call with someone usually they invite me but now it's just nothing. I mean im noticing it. They usually play all day long, which means he was free. He's the only one who I could talk to with what im feeling, I'm pretty sure he was bothered by it, even though he said he wasn't. Now I decided I won't bother him anymore, I mean I could communicate better with him and find my answer. But I think the cues are enough. I don't know if this is a great decision i already have almost no friends, but sometimes I just have to let go. (Also first post lmk if i violated any rules or stuff, my apologies in advance.)

 

[Aergia]

I'm sorry. I've been there. It can be difficult to know whether to start an open conversation in that kind of circumstance when the cues seem to speak for themselves. There's a risk of souring things by putting the other person on the defense, even if you're careful—though if you're willing to end the relationship you don't have much to lose, so I would still say to consider it.

Welcome to SS :)

 

[Yume Nikki]

Majority of friends aren't genuine anymore. I've met many on reddit only to be ghosted later on. Recently, I befriend a guy on r/SuicideWatch around the same age as me and we bonded over how much we missed our exes. He was funny but dismissive, anytime I tried to discuss anything such as hobbies, interests, games, he would ignore it and not add anything to the conversation. I even opened up about my abuse from my previous relationship and what does he do? continue to scroll through his phone while talking to me. Then called me at 2 am one night to ask me for advice if he should give some random girl his number. Guy had no self-awareness and I wasn't in the place to offer tips because I was tired and was going through a breakup. Sometimes, I think being alone is good, (not always but still) it helps us realize the flaws in our friendships and gives us time to move on from them. The way I see it from past experiences is that no one stays forever, even if they say they will. But if he was a good friend allow yourself to grieve it in anyway you can. I've had to let go of friends and ended up alone in many situations before, and while it hurt, it gave me the courage to cut people off that were too toxic for my wellbeing. You deserve way better than that.

 

[shrizoid]

I feel like my friend who knows that im struggling is distancing themself from me. I waited for weeks when I said that I want to talk with them/vent. they said "yeah sure ill let you know im free" and I waited... And saw him on a call with someone usually they invite me but now it's just nothing. I mean im noticing it. They usually play all day long, which means he was free. He's the only one who I could talk to with what im feeling, I'm pretty sure he was bothered by it, even though he said he wasn't. Now I decided I won't bother him anymore, I mean I could communicate better with him and find my answer. But I think the cues are enough. I don't know if this is a great decision i already have almost no friends, but sometimes I just have to let go. (Also first post lmk if i violated any rules or stuff, my apologies in advance.)

Yeah friends that do this suck, I had one friend tell me they could handle my depressive states and vents when I said I should stop, they blocked me the next day, I'd try not to worry myself with him if I were you, must not be a true friend if they're acting like this

 

[needthebus]

it's better to not tell friends about mental health issues

most people are selfish and will just not want to be involved

part of the problem is therapy and psychiatry and the mental health industry teach depressed people the importance of being open and honest and living your truth

but NOT being open can be beneficial and the whole mental health industry teaches people ideas that people should like and should be helpful (ideas that are palatable and make the mental health industry look good), but actually cause problems and are terrible.

so yeah, never tell friends your mental health problems unless they have them too and even then it's iffy. these are things you can learn only from other crazy people or through experience. the mental health industry will never say it because they only care about extracting money and appearing to do good and seeming to be respectable

people just suck

 

[Overwhelmed52]

I'm a loner, not really by choice, and don't have friends. I recently reconnected with a family member because I was going through a tough time. They are long distance but would call and text me a lot for the first couple of weeks. Now they are being more distant. Not even a text on Christmas even though I'm pretty sure they knew I was alone. It could be because I was bringing them down (although I was trying not to) or it could be because other family members are discouraging them. I guess the reason doesn't matter, though, since the outcome of me being partially rejected is the same. I'll still stay in touch just so I'm connected to somebody, but I feel like I've lost the closeness.

it's better to not tell friends about mental health issues

most people are selfish and will just not want to be involved

part of the problem is therapy and psychiatry and the mental health industry teach depressed people the importance of being open and honest and livng your truth

but NOT being open can be beneficial and the whole mental health industry teaches people ideas that people should like and should be helpful (ideas that are platable and make the mental health industry look good), but actually cause problems and are terrible.

so yeah, never tell friends your mental health problems unless they have them too and even then it's iffy. these are things you can learn only from other crazy people or through experience. the mental health industry will never say it because they only care about extracting money and appearing to do good and seeming to be respectable

people just suck

I think it scares a lot of people and they don't know what to do. I like this site and the posts here because people can express what they're going through.

 

[Nangijala]

Sometimes people just struggle with how to respond when a friend tells them about their struggles, but it can be hard to distinguish them not caring from not knowing how to respond.

 

[needthebus]

Sometimes people just struggle with how to respond when a friend tells them about their struggles, but it can be hard to distinguish them not caring from not knowing how to respond.

i disagree. you're underestimating how selfish and awful most people on earth are. most or all of the good people died and what's left is shit