Help Life is shit

[suicidenow]

I told my parents that I don't believe in God and they didn't respond, nor did they call me when we normally would call at 6pm on a Sunday, as they live far away from me.

They always talk shit about my vegan diet and say its the reason for my depression and Schizoaffective disorder.

Also, a guy told me that I'm not sexy enough to wait 6 months for anything sexual.
He told me that the thought of him doing anything orally with me makes him sick and that no man would love me that way unless they are ugly...
All because I didn't want to have sex with him straight away.
This isn't the first time a guy as made me feel ugly when I don't want to have sex with them.
Sigh, and then my friend from secondary school is having multiple guys that want her.

I bought some SN but my nurse took it from me because when I told my parents, they seemed to care. Now that they don't want to talk to me because I don't believe in a stupid God that would create me with the demon of schizoaffective disorder. My life is already hell, so what's the difference if I end up there in the so called afterlife.

I can't stop crying, I wish someone could just reassure me that I can CTB. I've only overdosed on sleeping pills and it was super-terrifying cause I didn't want to turn into a vegetable.

I don't want to live anymore, but damn, I'm scared of the process of dying.

 

[Blackoutchange]

I told my parents that I don't believe in God and they didn't respond, nor did they call me when we normally would call at 6pm on a Sunday, as they live far away from me.

They always talk shit about my vegan diet and say its the reason for my depression and Schizoaffective disorder.

Also, a guy told me that I'm not sexy enough to wait 6 months for anything sexual.
He told me that the thought of him doing anything orally with me makes him sick and that no man would love me that way unless they are ugly...
All because I didn't want to have sex with him straight away.
This isn't the first time a guy as made me feel ugly when I don't want to have sex with them.
Sigh, and then my friend from secondary school is having multiple guys that want her.

I bought some SN but my nurse took it from me because when I told my parents, they seemed to care. Now that they don't want to talk to me because I don't believe in a stupid God that would create me with the demon of schizoaffective disorder. My life is already hell, so what's the difference if I end up there in the so called afterlife.

I can't stop crying, I wish someone could just reassure me that I can CTB. I've only overdosed on sleeping pills and it was super-terrifying cause I didn't want to turn into a vegetable.

I don't want to live anymore, but damn, I'm scared of the process of dying.

Whatever choice you will make, I hope you will find peace, you don't deserve that shit

 

[suicidenow]

Whatever choice you will make, I hope you will find peace, you don't deserve that shit

Thank you

 

[ThatGuyOverThere]

As I have gone through life you'll realise that most of the people you perceive as good people, aren't all they seem to be, and that most people are just selfish, just as is human nature. There isn't much you can really do about it but try and keep such people at a large distance from you.

I'm sorry you had to realise it in such horrific ways.

I'm not an expert on OD CTB's, but I'm Sure there are many ways of pulling it off successfully, that can be found here. If you go through with it, then good luck!

 

[suicidenow]

As I have gone through life you'll realise that most of the people you perceive as good people, aren't all they seem to be, and that most people are just selfish, just as is human nature. There isn't much you can really do about it but try and keep such people at a large distance from you.

I'm sorry you had to realise it in such horrific ways.

I'm not an expert on OD CTB's, but I'm Sure there are many ways of pulling it off successfully, that can be found here. If you go through with it, then good luck!

Thank you

 

[CatLvr]

I'm one of those girls, too. Or was. If I didn't want to "do it" it was "good" because he "was probably gonna gag if he had to do it with me".

You need to understand that what these guys are saying to you is a reflection on THEM and not on you. You are fine. You have boundaries and they don't like that. Big fucking deal. There will be another guy. Probably a lot of them, if that's what you are into.

I can't help you with your parents. Mine were like that, too. If I didn't tow the family party line they just ignored me until I came back into line. Until one day I didn't.

 

[fatladysings]

I told my parents that I don't believe in God and they didn't respond, nor did they call me when we normally would call at 6pm on a Sunday, as they live far away from me.

They always talk shit about my vegan diet and say its the reason for my depression and Schizoaffective disorder.

Also, a guy told me that I'm not sexy enough to wait 6 months for anything sexual.
He told me that the thought of him doing anything orally with me makes him sick and that no man would love me that way unless they are ugly...
All because I didn't want to have sex with him straight away.
This isn't the first time a guy as made me feel ugly when I don't want to have sex with them.
Sigh, and then my friend from secondary school is having multiple guys that want her.

I bought some SN but my nurse took it from me because when I told my parents, they seemed to care. Now that they don't want to talk to me because I don't believe in a stupid God that would create me with the demon of schizoaffective disorder. My life is already hell, so what's the difference if I end up there in the so called afterlife.

I can't stop crying, I wish someone could just reassure me that I can CTB. I've only overdosed on sleeping pills and it was super-terrifying cause I didn't want to turn into a vegetable.

I don't want to live anymore, but damn, I'm scared of the process of dying.

I have schizoaffective disorder too and have found that antipsychotic medication helps. I was just wondering if you had tried any meds long term? ( They take a while to kick in.) I don't believe in god either so I don't believe you'll end up in hell no matter what happens.

Do you have a particular reason for being scared of dying?

 

[suicidenow]

I have schizoaffective disorder too and have found that antipsychotic medication helps. I was just wondering if you had tried any meds long term? ( They take a while to kick in.) I don't believe in god either so I don't believe you'll end up in hell no matter what happens.

Do you have a particular reason for being scared of dying?

I've been on Aripiprazole for almost a year and lamotrigine for around 2/3 months. I just feel like a fat and ugly failure and I feel better off dead than alive.

I'm scared of dying because I don't know what comes next, I don't know if I'll have a heartattack before I die from SN and just the unknown really. I hope I just cease to exist.

I'm one of those girls, too. Or was. If I didn't want to "do it" it was "good" because he "was probably gonna gag if he had to do it with me".

You need to understand that what these guys are saying to you is a reflection on THEM and not on you. You are fine. You have boundaries and they don't like that. Big fucking deal. There will be another guy. Probably a lot of them, if that's what you are into.

I can't help you with your parents. Mine were like that, too. If I didn't tow the family party line they just ignored me until I came back into line. Until one day I didn't.

I'm sorry you had to go through that as well. And sorry about your parents.