Hey guys,
I am severly sick for 3 years. Every seocond is torture and hell.. is suffrer from Depression and strange psychosomatic Sensations in my body since i am 13. 3 years ago and had a breakdown due to a bad reactions to an antidepressants and sever stress.. my brain is just Fried,
I suffer from:
Chronich Dissociation
Sever Depression Transmitter Swings
Complete Emotional Numbness
Agony pain all over my whole body
Severe pressure in my body
Feeling like i choke every sec, hardcore problems breathing
Brain deadness, everything is a blurr.. i cant think like a normal Person .. i feel like a zombie
My body is so stiff i cant move proberbly, it is like a qm paralyzed physical mentally and emotionally
Every breath hurts, it is hard to talk. It feels impossible to exist.
I gave 3 years all i had but i dont recover. And I have enough.
Sadly I lost all faith- i was a pretty good Person. Sensible, respectful and kindhearted. I always hoped there is something Bigger than us in life. But now i see everything/life is only a gamble.
The Biggesee idiots, assholes that only care about themself can stay in their arrogant Position keep living happily till the end with the end whilst they never reflect on their behaviour and life. And sensible empathatic people struggle so hard. Get besten down my Depression everday. And suffer till the end while they still try to help people and understand their pain. This life fucked me over so brutally hard that I dont see any bigger meaning in life at all anymore. The purpose of life is just to enjoy it. If you are too sick and only feel pain and agony life seems nothing that is worth Holding on at all just for the reason to exist.
I already know I have to cbd. But it hurts to have lost the faith in anything before. I just wonder why stay in this game after u have already lost the gamble.
Dont get me wrong i thing life can be beautyful. If you not get fucked by all the horrible Things that can happen to someone. I am 26, i had some good times even tho it was never easy for me. I was not born into a good loving family. Tho i think i developed into a good empathatic Person i was proud of. I had good relationships found love and Studied. I wanted to become a therapist to help people that were diffrent like me and struggling being in a World full of ignorant blind Robots and mental alienations.
But know i am pretty much completly disabled and can only Think about death and ending my pain.
It s really hard for me. Cause i found some incredible people in my life.. and i have to leave them already forever. But i cant feel any human connection or take part in their lifes anymore anyways.
I only can hope there comes something better after this life. I dont think so but is i all can hope for anymore.
I just cant stay in this hell of existence without any future. This life is not worth it.
I am looking forward to hear your thoughts.
P.S please dont reject my Post. It is rly hard for me to write. My last Post was Rejected and it was rly a slap in the face.
Thanks
I am severly sick for 3 years. Every seocond is torture and hell.. is suffrer from Depression and strange psychosomatic Sensations in my body since i am 13. 3 years ago and had a breakdown due to a bad reactions to an antidepressants and sever stress.. my brain is just Fried,
I suffer from:
Chronich Dissociation
Sever Depression Transmitter Swings
Complete Emotional Numbness
Agony pain all over my whole body
Severe pressure in my body
Feeling like i choke every sec, hardcore problems breathing
Brain deadness, everything is a blurr.. i cant think like a normal Person .. i feel like a zombie
My body is so stiff i cant move proberbly, it is like a qm paralyzed physical mentally and emotionally
Every breath hurts, it is hard to talk. It feels impossible to exist.
I gave 3 years all i had but i dont recover. And I have enough.
Sadly I lost all faith- i was a pretty good Person. Sensible, respectful and kindhearted. I always hoped there is something Bigger than us in life. But now i see everything/life is only a gamble.
The Biggesee idiots, assholes that only care about themself can stay in their arrogant Position keep living happily till the end with the end whilst they never reflect on their behaviour and life. And sensible empathatic people struggle so hard. Get besten down my Depression everday. And suffer till the end while they still try to help people and understand their pain. This life fucked me over so brutally hard that I dont see any bigger meaning in life at all anymore. The purpose of life is just to enjoy it. If you are too sick and only feel pain and agony life seems nothing that is worth Holding on at all just for the reason to exist.
I already know I have to cbd. But it hurts to have lost the faith in anything before. I just wonder why stay in this game after u have already lost the gamble.
Dont get me wrong i thing life can be beautyful. If you not get fucked by all the horrible Things that can happen to someone. I am 26, i had some good times even tho it was never easy for me. I was not born into a good loving family. Tho i think i developed into a good empathatic Person i was proud of. I had good relationships found love and Studied. I wanted to become a therapist to help people that were diffrent like me and struggling being in a World full of ignorant blind Robots and mental alienations.
But know i am pretty much completly disabled and can only Think about death and ending my pain.
It s really hard for me. Cause i found some incredible people in my life.. and i have to leave them already forever. But i cant feel any human connection or take part in their lifes anymore anyways.
I only can hope there comes something better after this life. I dont think so but is i all can hope for anymore.
I just cant stay in this hell of existence without any future. This life is not worth it.
I am looking forward to hear your thoughts.
P.S please dont reject my Post. It is rly hard for me to write. My last Post was Rejected and it was rly a slap in the face.
Thanks
