Venting Levels of depression

[hoppybunny]

I think the idea that we shouldn't invalidate other people's suffering has inadvertently started to become a way to invalidate the suffering of people who are severely mentally ill.


Like for instance the phrase, as far as i know, originally meant like just because someone is coming to work and can perform tasks doesn't mean they don't have depression.

Now I'm seeing people say things like I've been depressed and I've never missed a shower or I've been depressed and i still get my work done.

And if you tell those people that they just aren't "that" depressed they start saying you're playing suffering olympics and invalidating their suffering.


Like I'm a super clean person and I hate germs so you truly can't understand the level of internal suffering it takes me to not bath for days on end till the loint i start to stink. And i hated myself every second. I hated being alive, i hated being disgusting. But I just couldn't care enough to take care of myself. I just wanted to die.

I was in my room for days at a time without leaving and i probably got up like every 2 days to eat or drink water. Like it's not fun. It's not relaxing and it definitely isn't laziness(i don't believe in laziness as a concept anyway)

What even brought up this vent is that i saw a post by someone about how she stays disciplined while depressed. And it truly was some generic advice about dealing with consequences and maintaining your life and doing things future you would appreciate.

And i was going to comment that none of these would work for a severly depressed person and using the word disciplined, means that severely depressed people just choose not to be disciplined.

And this doesn't work because the consequences do not matter when you're depressed, there is no life worth maintaining for a depressed person and there is no future version of you to make happy when you're severely depressed.


But i know people will probably argue that I'm invalidating their depression or that I'm being pedantic, so i decided to vent instead.

 

[tipoftheRGB]

Honestly a lot of people are stupid and ignorant and it's not worth concerning yourself with the opinions of people like that. You are right that most people with severe depression can't get out of bed, can't shower etc. Sometimes depression can be so severe, the person is catatonic or in psychosis. I just wouldn't listen to or pay attention to people like that - they just don't get it. There are so many dumb takes about mental health on the internet rn by people who don't have a clue what they are talking about. I wouldn't pay attention to any of it. There are intelligent and informed people or people who have gone through similar out there who would understand your struggles. There is a book called "Reasons to Stay Alive" which I would recommend because he describes a mental breakdown and also how unseriously other people took it and idk for me reading that made me feel better about the thought that other people don't understand me. But yeah fuck those people. You know the truth and that's what matters the most. And maybe one day they will go through something horrible (a lot of people seem to get to that stage eventually) and they will understand the truth too.

 

[hoppybunny]

Honestly a lot of people are stupid and ignorant and it's not worth concerning yourself with the opinions of people like that. You are right that most people with severe depression can't get out of bed, can't shower etc. Sometimes depression can be so severe, the person is catatonic or in psychosis. I just wouldn't listen to or pay attention to people like that - they just don't get it. There are so many dumb takes about mental health on the internet rn by people who don't have a clue what they are talking about. I wouldn't pay attention to any of it. There are intelligent and informed people or people who have gone through similar out there who would understand your struggles. There is a book called "Reasons to Stay Alive" which I would recommend because he describes a mental breakdown and also how unseriously other people took it and idk for me reading that made me feel better about the thought that other people don't understand me. But yeah fuck those people. You know the truth and that's what matters the most. And maybe one day they will go through something horrible (a lot of people seem to get to that stage eventually) and they will understand the truth too.

Is the book ur referring to the one by Matt Haig? I just want to make sure I'm reading the right book. Thank you for your kind words.

I'm honestly trying to stay off of social media but the boredome when I'm not on it is insane. But the opinions on there are so draining.

 

[isolute_2488]

I believe there is a distinct difference between melancholic episodic depression or bipolar depression and "modern" depression.

 

[left0vers]

True. I've been depressed for about 8 years at this point, and while there were periods when my suicidal ideation was spotty and largely obscured by quite bearable emotional flatness, there were weeks, even months, when I felt like a crushed corpse. Unable to get out of bed and get anything done besides taking a few sips of a liquid to postpone the dehydration effects by one more day. It's a wide spectrum.

 

[tipoftheRGB]

Is the book ur referring to the one by Matt Haig? I just want to make sure I'm reading the right book. Thank you for your kind words.

I'm honestly trying to stay off of social media but the boredome when I'm not on it is insane. But the opinions on there are so draining.

Yes that's the book! And any time :)

I have to use an app blocker to keep me off social media because its so addictive. I do recommend using an app blocker - I actually pay for one called StayFocused because it's so strict. I feel like reading the right books can give just as much of a thrill as social media only you feel accomplished afterwards instead of drained like with social media. But yeah all the worst people seem to post regularly on social media. This is probably the only website I can tolerate nowadays because everywhere else seems to be full of awful people, hate, bots, AI etc.

 

[hoppybunny]

I believe there is a distinct difference between melancholic episodic depression or bipolar depression and "modern" depression.

Absolutely

True. I've been depressed for about 8 years at this point, and while there were periods when my suicidal ideation was spotty and largely obscured by quite bearable emotional flatness, there were weeks, even months, when I felt like a crushed corpse. Unable to get out of bed and get anything done besides taking a few sips of a liquid to postpone the dehydration effects by one more day. It's a wide spectrum.

So sorry you had to deal with that. I think I've had mild depression since i was like 12. And while i was suicidal at 12 it was more like anxiety induced suicidal ideation not really depression. It's only when i went to college that my depression became so severe. It's such a terrible experience.

Yes that's the book! And any time :)

I have to use an app blocker to keep me off social media because its so addictive. I do recommend using an app blocker - I actually pay for one called StayFocused because it's so strict. I feel like reading the right books can give just as much of a thrill as social media only you feel accomplished afterwards instead of drained like with social media. But yeah all the worst people seem to post regularly on social media. This is probably the only website I can tolerate nowadays because everywhere else seems to be full of awful people, hate, bots, AI etc.

I've honestly started seeing th trash posts as a blessing. My social media time has been cut from like 10 hrs to 1 hr a day because the garbage they post is so bad that it keeps me off the app. I may try to set a timer. I know back in thenay it helped to set a 10 minute limit. I'm not sure if i could oay for one tho. I'm amazed by your dedication.

 

[bagel12]

I think the idea that we shouldn't invalidate other people's suffering has inadvertently started to become a way to invalidate the suffering of people who are severely mentally ill.


Like for instance the phrase, as far as i know, originally meant like just because someone is coming to work and can perform tasks doesn't mean they don't have depression.

Now I'm seeing people say things like I've been depressed and I've never missed a shower or I've been depressed and i still get my work done.

And if you tell those people that they just aren't "that" depressed they start saying you're playing suffering olympics and invalidating their suffering.


Like I'm a super clean person and I hate germs so you truly can't understand the level of internal suffering it takes me to not bath for days on end till the loint i start to stink. And i hated myself every second. I hated being alive, i hated being disgusting. But I just couldn't care enough to take care of myself. I just wanted to die.

I was in my room for days at a time without leaving and i probably got up like every 2 days to eat or drink water. Like it's not fun. It's not relaxing and it definitely isn't laziness(i don't believe in laziness as a concept anyway)

What even brought up this vent is that i saw a post by someone about how she stays disciplined while depressed. And it truly was some generic advice about dealing with consequences and maintaining your life and doing things future you would appreciate.

And i was going to comment that none of these would work for a severly depressed person and using the word disciplined, means that severely depressed people just choose not to be disciplined.

And this doesn't work because the consequences do not matter when you're depressed, there is no life worth maintaining for a depressed person and there is no future version of you to make happy when you're severely depressed.


But i know people will probably argue that I'm invalidating their depression or that I'm being pedantic, so i decided to vent instead.

i feel the same way, that's exactly why clinical depression scales differentiate between mild, moderate, and severe depression. because mild vs severe depression are so different, they are like different diseases entirely and they have different treatment plans as well.

unfortunately when i had mild depression i used to feel a little judgmental when people would not respond to messages, not brush their teeth, and so on. (i never expressed this judgment to anyone though, and i remained empathetic.) anyway now my depression is severe and i can lay for days without eating, drinking water, brushing teeth and so on.

it frustrates me when people are like "i have mental health issues too but i am entirely functional and a perfect wage slave so you have no excuse!!" their ability to be productive and to conform to societal norms is the only way they can see value in themselves and others. they think we can just push through if we try hard enough... for some reason they think we WANT to live this way? they don't realize that many people with severe depression just... die prematurely due to ctb, substance abuse, health issues, homelessness, etc.

whenever i get pissed off by a social media comment i imagine they are the most stupid person i know irl. or i imagine they are a 9 yr old who has access to social media. or i imagine they are a flat earther. and i realize their opinion isn't worth getting angry about.

it sucks though. i wouldn't shame anyone if their liver or pancreas or heart wasn't working right so i don't get why i should be shamed if my brain isn't working right! like imagine if a diabetic was like "i don't need insulin so you shouldn't either!"

 

[hoppybunny]

i feel the same way, that's exactly why clinical depression scales differentiate between mild, moderate, and severe depression. because mild vs severe depression are so different, they are like different diseases entirely and they have different treatment plans as well.

unfortunately when i had mild depression i used to feel a little judgmental when people would not respond to messages, not brush their teeth, and so on. (i never expressed this judgment to anyone though, and i remained empathetic.) anyway now my depression is severe and i can lay for days without eating, drinking water, brushing teeth and so on.

it frustrates me when people are like "i have mental health issues too but i am entirely functional and a perfect wage slave so you have no excuse!!" their ability to be productive and to conform to societal norms is the only way they can see value in themselves and others. they think we can just push through if we try hard enough... for some reason they think we WANT to live this way? they don't realize that many people with severe depression just... die prematurely due to ctb, substance abuse, health issues, homelessness, etc.

whenever i get pissed off by a social media comment i imagine they are the most stupid person i know irl. or i imagine they are a 9 yr old who has access to social media. or i imagine they are a flat earther. and i realize their opinion isn't worth getting angry about.

it sucks though. i wouldn't shame anyone if their liver or pancreas or heart wasn't working right so i don't get why i should be shamed if my brain isn't working right! like imagine if a diabetic was like "i don't need insulin so you shouldn't either!"

Everyone's attitude with mental illness is, if i can't see it, it's not real. It's so frustrating.