Venting Leaving siblings behind

[Eddy]

I'm currently struggling really bad. I was planning to CTB soon, but there is one thing thats really holding me back. My little brother (14 years old) and my sister (11). I know it will hurt them more than anything if i left, mainly because our parents are emotionally abusive and I'm the person my siblings go to when they look for support or just need to vent. And when i leave not only will they lose their go-to person for support, i will also leave them in a toxic and abusive household. I really dont know what to do. I'm sorry I just needed to get this off my chest.

 

[Walilamdzi]

I feel dreadful about this too. But I figure the way I am now I can't be here for anyone anyway... so what difference does it make?

 

[a.n.kirillov]

I feel dreadful about this too. But I figure the way I am now I can't be here for anyone anyway... so what difference does it make?

But he said he is there for his siblings.aybe you should reconsider OP. You could also start preparing them and teaching them as good as possible how to deal with your parents. Tell them things like: "if one day I won't be here anymore, xyz ...".
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No relatives you trust to talk about this? You could talk to them and instead of saying you will kill yourself, say you will eventually move out.

 

[Eddy]

But he said he is there for his siblings.aybe you should reconsider OP. You could also start preparing them and teaching them as good as possible how to deal with your parents. Tell them things like: "if one day I won't be here anymore, xyz ...".
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No relatives you trust to talk about this? You could talk to them and instead of saying you will kill yourself, say you will eventually move out.

Most of my relatives are just like my parents or atleast think my parents are in the right. I've been trying too help my siblings as much as i can. I tried to create a healthy environment for them, or atleast prepare them to deal with my parents on their own, but Im sure when I'm gone they'll feel just as trapped as i do. Thank you for answering my post though, it means a lot

 

[Walilamdzi]

But he said he is there for his siblings.aybe you should reconsider OP. You could also start preparing them and teaching them as good as possible how to deal with your parents. Tell them things like: "if one day I won't be here anymore, xyz ...".
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No relatives you trust to talk about this? You could talk to them and instead of saying you will kill yourself, say you will eventually move out.

I mean that while suicidally depressed, it's hard to ever be present even if you are technically there.