Just ordered SN

[sillybillygo]

I just ordered SN and it should arrive by next Wednesday. I thought a lot about it but when I woke up, I just knew. I'm pretty afraid of what my body will look like and making sure I'm alone or at least no one can hear. It feels good knowing there's a way out as everything is going bad and I'm about to lose my job and my freedom. I keep envisioning what my family will say or do but I know everyone will be fine because they have structure in their life. I feel the worst for my mom because she's financially depending on me but I have bipolar and schizoaffective disorder and it ruined my life so I just want to be free.

 

[Ednospatient]

My SN is also ordered and I'm really excited!

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm sorry that things are so hopeless, but at least you will have a way to exit this life at a time of your own choosing. I hope you find the peace you are looking for.

 

[Yolanda]

Ok.. Ibhave always been in the mind set that suicide should be ones choice, and can be mandated and regulated.. like having the funds for burial/ cremation, having consistently felt this way and having documentation of said feeling, etc.. I literally sabatoged my entire life years ago, knowing at the time it would all come back and I'd literally need commit suicide or be killed... It's a long story honestly.. all I can say now though is that I really wish I didn't dig myself a grave for unhappiness as a teenager.. you all hee this from everyone about how it gets better.. and it doesn't.. it does change though, and you get better at dealing with it..
But back to my dilemma here.. I still dug the grave as a kid and now I logically have to do this... Before others do it less graciously then I would... What SN should I order?