Just one thing

[ihatemylife]

Is there anyone on here that if they could just change one thing about their life they would not want to CTB or would you still want to CTB regardless of how good your life was? After everything I've been though at this point I feel now that even if all my problems were fixed magically just knowing life has the potential to be so horrific I'd rather just escape this world.

 

[FuneralCry]

I think for me, no matter what I will want to ctb, even if I could change aspects of my life. For me, the problem is life itself, I simply do not like living. Suicidal thoughts are a part of me. I do not want to reach an old age and I see life as pointless, in the end all we are doing is waiting around to die. Living does not appeal to me in any way and I simply dislike being conscious. Life is just a never ending struggle and I see existence as a burden. The thing I want is to not exist, to have permanent peace and never experience anything again.

 

[Makko]

People have a need to reduce their problems to something specific that they can blame. They only situations where this makes sense is when you were a normie suddenly struck by a debilitating illness or injury that abruptly ruined your life. If you JUST could reverse that one thing, then yes, you'd be fine.

Chronic problems don't work like that. If I JUST had decent parents. If I JUST had money. If I JUST had love. If I JUST had beauty. If I JUST had confidence. If you manage to boil your life challenges to one of those things, you'd probably not be fine if given it. Chances are, you wouldn't even know what to do with it and it would give you nothing. You'd be like that one working class guy who won the lottery, bought a Ferrari and crashed himself to death on it, all in the span of a few days. Poor people don't know what to do with money. Unfeeling people don't know what to do with love. Ugly people don't know what to do with beauty. Anxious people don't know what to do with confidence. You're already screwed on a fundamental level and watering a dead tree won't bring it back to life. It's never JUST one thing. Between you and being fine stands a total transformation.

 

[everydayiloveyou]

People have a need to reduce their problems to something specific that they can blame. They only situations where this makes sense is when you were a normie suddenly struck by a debilitating illness or injury that abruptly ruined your life. If you JUST could reverse that one thing, then yes, you'd be fine.

Chronic problems don't work like that. If I JUST had decent parents. If I JUST had money. If I JUST had love. If I JUST had beauty. If I JUST had confidence. If you manage to boil your life challenges to one of those things, you'd probably not be fine if given it. Chances are, you wouldn't even know what to do with it and it would give you nothing. You'd be like that one working class guy who won the lottery, bought a Ferrari and crashed himself to death on it, all in the span of a few days. Poor people don't know what to do with money. Unfeeling people don't know what to do with love. Ugly people don't know what to do with beauty. Anxious people don't know what to do with confidence. You're already screwed on a fundamental level and watering a dead tree won't bring it back to life. It's never JUST one thing. Between you and being fine stands a total transformation.

That is a great analogy. Life is a culmination of choices, if you were suddenly not depressed anymore it wouldn't change the problems you got *because* of the life-long depression. Now you're not depressed, but you still need to pick up the pieces left by it.

Though winning the lotto would def make me put things off a little longer haha. In this world, a lot of things are more manageable with money, and you can get proper treatment if you're rich enough.

Also it would've been great if I was born without an anxiety disorder, personally I was bullied for the way it presented and that was probably what made my problems so severe later down the line. I'd love for it to go away right now too, but it's ruined a lot of things for me and I'm not sure if I'd be able to bounce back.

 

[A_miStake_of_NATURE]

I think like a year ago I was pretty sure that if I wasn't ugly and dumb, if I was young and successful I wouldn't want to kill myself. But, boy, was I wrong. I hate myself, this life and this world so much, that no matter what, I would always want to be dead.

 

[Alwaysbadtime]

No, if I could undo shit in the past and if I woke up and all my problems were no more I would want to keep on. Actually..Idk. My live-in relationship is toxic...and can't handle living alone...so probably it's still pointless...but if there was a hot dude at my awesome job I miraculously had then cool. I would stay.

 

[down for the count]

I suppose if I had developed normally I wouldn't be aware of the things I hate about other people. However, as humans are selfish I wouldn't care about the fact that most people are scum because my problems would be solved.

 

[Nati]

Technically I have zero problems.
I have a supportive family - financially and emotionally, I can easily get a good paying job that actually interests me and basically I can do whatever I want. I think I have the perfect life. My one issue is.. me. I just don't care for it. Nothing I do satisfy me. I can laugh from a joke or enjoy a meal but deep inside it's a constant darkness. I laugh from a joke and a second later I think how I would like to kill myself. I ride my bike and am amazed from the view from the top of the mountain and a second later I think "what if I rode from the cliff".
My life is a great example for "money can't buy happiness".

 

[Lolkillme]

I would have to change the course of my entire life, different events that defined me that led to a domino effect. The only way I wouldn't want to ctb is if I was a completely different person.

 

[OpheliasFlowers]

If I'd been born completely healthy and didn't go through every single day of life with pain and other debilitating issues (or issues that at the very least limit what I can do, where I can go, what I can eat, etc) I do not think I would want to ctb. Other bad shit that's happened to me I could either move on from, literally and physically, if only I weren't so dependent on others to survive and I could make the decision to do this/that or move away or whatever. I wouldn't be so STUCK like I am. My health is what has ruined everything about life for me and made my existence a LIVING HELL AND NIGHTMARE full of physical and mental and emotional suffering, and decades of loneliness. If I felt strong and was well and therefore had autonomy and the ability to be more free in all areas of life, I'd have other choices and possibilities vs what it's all come down to which, for me, is inevitably ctb just to escape this torment.