Just lied to my psychiatrist

[Unspoken]

I told him the thoughts are getting better, they are less frequent and I can handle them better. The truth is I'm planning more and more to end my life. But I certainly won't say that. So I bought myself a couple months without a check in. Hopefully I'll be dead soon.
Anybody else waiting until some kind of break in this quarantine?

 

[TJuk]

I'm waiting till Sunday to find out what is going on with UK lockdown mostly as I'm curious what's going on with funerals

 

[Unspoken]

I'm waiting till Sunday to find out what is going on with UK lockdown mostly as I'm curious what's going on with funerals

Definitely something I'm thinking about too. Not that I really want one, but I know my family will.

 

[TJuk]

Definitely something I'm thinking about too. Not that I really want one, but I know my family will.

Same, I don't really care what they do with me when I'm dead. I am guessing I can't donate my organs anyway due to the method I've chosen so yeah not bothered

 

[Unspoken]

Same, I don't really care what they do with me when I'm dead. I am guessing I can't donate my organs anyway due to the method I've chosen so yeah not bothered

Sometimes I just want to say fuck it and not worry about what I'm leaving behind, but that's so hard to do.

 

[noaccount]

I always want to congratulate people on non-compliance and lying to psychs, but I'm sorry you're so sure you'll need to end it soon to get away from whatever's hurting you.

 

[Unspoken]

I always want to congratulate people on non-compliance and lying to psychs, but I'm sorry you're so sure you'll need to end it soon to get away from whatever's hurting you.

Thank you. I appreciate your kind words. It does feel like a little victory.

 

[TJuk]

My pyschartist told me not to do anything silly (meaning suicide which annoys me as suicide is not silly), then lied to my care coordinator. I'm now refusing to speak to that psycharist and my care coordinator is being a go between, been having therapy but it's not really helping. I've had therapy before, I'm on medication, had hospital admissions so yeah no one can say I didn't try getting help.

After Sunday I can hopefully plan better, the lockdown makes it easier to pretend I'm OK as I don't have to physically see anyone. I'm on once a week phone calls from my team which is every Monday so I can at least time that OK.

 

[Unspoken]

My pyschartist told me not to do anything silly (meaning suicide which annoys me as suicide is not silly), then lied to my care coordinator. I'm now refusing to speak to that psycharist and my care coordinator is being a go between, been having therapy but it's not really helping. I've had therapy before, I'm on medication, had hospital admissions so yeah no one can say I didn't try getting help.

After Sunday I can hopefully plan better, the lockdown makes it easier to pretend I'm OK as I don't have to physically see anyone. I'm on once a week phone calls from my team which is every Monday so I can at least time that OK.

That sounds like a frustrating situation. I'm sorry they check in so often. I agree the lockdown makes it a little easier to hide from everyone.
I've been to therapy, been medicated, been hospitalized. I've definitely given it a good try too. It's frustrating to keep trying. I'm ready to give up.

 

[TJuk]

That sounds like a frustrating situation. I'm sorry they check in so often. I agree the lockdown makes it a little easier to hide from everyone.
I've been to therapy, been medicated, been hospitalized. I've definitely given it a good try too. It's frustrating to keep trying. I'm ready to give up.

I'm feeling a bit more relieved knowing that I have my method, just got to work out timings etc for example altho I live alone my mum texts me several times though the day but she also works but due to coronavirus she's doing different shifts to normal and she has contacted police before to do a welfare check as I didn't reply back to her for 4 hours during the day altho she was off on that day - I was safe and well I was just tidying garden, took dog to vets, went to do a food shop, came home to police outside my house luckily hadn't knocked down the door

 

[Unspoken]

I'm feeling a bit more relieved knowing that I have my method, just got to work out timings etc for example altho I live alone my mum texts me several times though the day but she also works but due to coronavirus she's doing different shifts to normal and she has contacted police before to do a welfare check as I didn't reply back to her for 4 hours during the day altho she was off on that day - I was safe and well I was just tidying garden, took dog to vets, went to do a food shop, came home to police outside my house luckily hadn't knocked down the door

That does make it kind of tricky. Do you have an excuse to use when you plan to do it? I guess it all depends on the timing and your method of choice.

 

[TJuk]

That does make it kind of tricky. Do you have an excuse to use when you plan to do it? I guess it all depends on the timing and your method of choice.

Kind of just waiting to see what she's working, do know that I can possibly go during the night as she seems to text 9.30am ish onwards. I think I may take note of her routine for a week or so and then I'm not risking her contacting police for example. I'm planning sn

 

[DJ2000]

I told him the thoughts are getting better, they are less frequent and I can handle them better. The truth is I'm planning more and more to end my life. But I certainly won't say that. So I bought myself a couple months without a check in. Hopefully I'll be dead soon.
Anybody else waiting until some kind of break in this quarantine?

What's your plan?

 

[Unspoken]

Kind of just waiting to see what she's working, do know that I can possibly go during the night as she seems to text 9.30am ish onwards. I think I may take note of her routine for a week or so and then I'm not risking her contacting police for example. I'm planning sn

Yeah maybe late night would be best.

What's your plan?

I plan on doing partial suspension in a hotel room.

 

[Cosmiq]

I wish I was more convincing when I lie, I mostly just omit things. I actually really like my psychiatrist, after I got hospitalized she was really empathetic. A lot people had the whole "it's for your own good" and "keep you safe" bullshit stuff to say. She just apologized, and validated how traumatizing it could be. She said she had to ask me about suicidal thoughts after that, but would say things like I understand why you'd be hesitant and don't want to say anything which made me feel better about lying. She's pretty chill, and has been pretty honest about what a shitshow the mental healthcare system is, and just how much they don't understand and much and even less so when it comes to suicide.

I'm not really waiting for some kind of break in quarantine though. I'll go as long as I can, right now it'd probably be around June. If somehow not by then, then probably the end of the year. I think the only thing that would stop me is if my sister let me see my niece and nephews again.

 

[Unspoken]

I wish I was more convincing when I lie, I mostly just omit things. I actually really like my psychiatrist, after I got hospitalized she was really empathetic. A lot people had the whole "it's for your own good" and "keep you safe" bullshit stuff to say. She just apologized, and validated how traumatizing it could be. She said she had to ask me about suicidal thoughts after that, but would say things like I understand why you'd be hesitant and don't want to say anything which made me feel better about lying. She's pretty chill, and has been pretty honest about what a shitshow the mental healthcare system is, and just how much they don't understand and much and even less so when it comes to suicide.

I'm not really waiting for some kind of break in quarantine though. I'll go as long as I can, right now it'd probably be around June. If somehow not by then, then probably the end of the year. I think the only thing that would stop me is if my sister let me see my niece and nephews again.

I'm so glad you have a psych that understanding. Definitely seems like a rarity. I wish you peace with your decision, whenever you decide to go.

 

[LMLN]

It's so hard to be honest at all with mental health professionals. I'm glad you could talk candidly.

 

[Cosmiq]

I'm so glad you have a psych that understanding. Definitely seems like a rarity. I wish you peace with your decision, whenever you decide to go.

It's so hard to be honest at all with mental health professionals. I'm glad you could talk candidly.

Yeah, I'm not sure a glowing review would mean much from a patient that ctb though. It has made easier to not be tempted do it by ODing. I wish there were more like her so they could help those that actually have a chance at improvement, or just those that need a psychiatrist aver having an awful one.

 

[Cancún]

yo dont want a funeral full of hipocrits